Bin Raiders of the Lost (B)ark

Parsnips

2012-02-02T22:48:00.001Z

Let's hope for my sake that they are not poisonous. They are certainly delicious. No wonder TJam wanted to roast this one for Sunday lunch. Looks like it's plan b for her now ...

Beanz aka Fenton

2012-01-30T21:58:00.003Z

If you have seen the footage of Fenton the (handsome) dog chasing deer in Richmond Park, you probably fall into one of two camps. The "haha that is hilarious - been there, done that" camp, and the "how terrible, how can you laugh about that" camp.

TJam falls into the former. Not because she doesn't think it is terrible to let a dog chase deer, but because she recognises that, even with the best will in the world, things go wrong sometimes. She felt for that owner. And because sometimes, if all's well that ends well, then you have to laugh or you'll cry.

And so, I would like to tell you about my fabulous Saturday. As you know, I am partial to chasing, and so I have to stay on my lead when I walk past sheep fields and the like. I am not that fussed about actually catching anything, I just like the thrill of the chase. I am not a killer or anything. I have proved that on several occasions.

When I went flying into the woods on my walk, TJam thought I was after squirrels.

(Can you see where this is going?)

It was only when a flock of about 8 delicious sheep came charging out of the woods, that TJam realised the real reason for my delight. I couldn't hear TJam shouting "come here" (the polite version). I was in the zone. It's not every day sheep get out of their field and into my woods.

Sadly for me, but luckily for TJam and the sheep, some passers by shouted and waved their stick at me. It was ok by me, I'd had my fun. I turned round and bounded joyfully towards TJam to see how excited she would be at my glorious find.

Not as excited as I had hoped, as it turned out.

A jogger ran by and said he wished he'd been filming. TJam didn't find that very funny either.

I have been told to tell you that all the sheep ran off and appeared in good health.

Scan

2012-01-20T22:21:00.000Z

After I had my blood test, the vet said I would need a scan of my liver because I had some slightly raised enzymes. TJam sneakily took me to a different surgery (where the scanner lives) so I didn't realise where I was until she walked away and left me. But worse still, I DID NOT GET ANY BREAKFAST! Can you imagine?

TJam took the opportunity to spend some one-on-one time with Beanz. They went to this enormous mountain...

Oh, wait, it was just a big rock.

Apparently, Beanz found herself a boyfriend and invited him to play. This is the first dog she has invited to play in 10 years. It would seem I cramp her style.

Meanwhile, I had my scan, which was pretty much fine, and I got some liver supplements. It is not yet clear whether these are "neurotic owner" supplements or whether they will bring my enzymes down, but I don't mind them, so it doesn't matter.

Here I am showing off my newly shaved belly. Brrrr. Couldn't you have taken me in the summer, TJam?

Blood Test

2012-01-13T22:14:00.000Z

See this bald patch? I have been violated!

I'd like to say I was brave and fearless when the vet took blood, but TJam would only come on here and tell you it took 3 people and that I was a total wimp.

Remember that time I was poorly out on a walk? Well, it's happened a couple of times recently and I have been a bit thirsty, so TJam took me for a check up. Since my wee was dilute, they took some blood. I am told it is for the best.

On the upside, I got some nice tasty treats when I got home, reward for not biting the vet.

New Friend?

2012-01-04T21:54:00.000Z

What's this? A new friend sitting next to B2?

I thought so at first, but it is actually all the fur that came out of him when he was stripped.

You've got to admit he looks good. B2 that is, not the not-friend. The not-friend looks... um.... different.

Happy New Year!

2012-01-02T21:47:00.000Z

Firstly, Happy New Year to everyone.

A beautiful start it has been.

Secondly, as TJam is wont to do once a year, she raises this glass of wine to the original Jump The Dog. She will reminisce about... hmm, which humiliating story should she tell? What about the time Jump got into the kitchens in one of the trendiest restaurants in Manchester? Yup, that was pretty humiliating. Cheers to Jump for teaching TJam to worry less about what other people think of you.

Hangover

2011-12-30T17:48:00.000Z

What's this?

Bamgee gave us an excellent Christmas present this year

but I think Beanz may have overdone it a little.

Perhaps she needs hair of the dog.

Santa's Helpers

2011-12-24T22:24:00.003Z

Once again, us dogs have to take a back seat while Santa's Elves get on with the important business of wrapping our tripe sticks for tomorrow...

We will go off guard duty tonight and let Santa in whenever he wants to call by.

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Toymaker

2011-12-23T21:05:00.000Z

Today, it was no dogs allowed, as Puppy and Piglet took their plastic milk bottle tops to the toymaker...

The toymaker pointed out all the different little plastic soldiers and figures and puppy and piglet chose what they wanted.

Then the toymaker poured the plastic into the mould , counted to 10,

and took it out of the mould.

Then he took the little figure to his workshop to file it down.

Tada! Tom Payne, the revolutionary.

And all made out of milk bottle tops.

Christmas Presents

2011-12-22T08:21:00.004Z

(Do not read while eating)

While TJam was out Christmas shopping for everyone else, I started to feel guilty that Beanz, Chips and I hadn't really organised anything special for our human.

So, after much deliberation, for TJam's Christmas entertainment and present,

I used this bag to open this cupboard and do a stirling bin raiding job...

... and then I did a cartoon style, post-bin raiding poo.

Perfect.

What human could want for more?

New Obsession

2011-12-19T19:38:00.002Z

I have got a new friend. I am completely obsessed with her. When she is in her owner's arms, I just tag along behind and sometimes I can't help myself and I jump up, even though I know I am not supposed to.

This is B3...

She is a lively little thing and not easy to get a photo of!

And I just can't stop following her.

Wherever she goes, I'll be there.

Brrr

2011-12-16T22:32:00.000Z

TJam has been doing some shopping today. We wondered if she was going to make it home when the weather turned like THIS:

(Did you spot the optimistic little kid crossing the road with his sledge?

It was just like a Hollywood film!)

When TJam got home, we went for a most excellent walk. Beanz was overjoyed. Snow is her absolute favourite. She did her special bouncy run to celebrate.

Dear Christmas Tree Fairy

2011-12-14T08:09:00.000Z

You were a lot of fun for a short period of time. I look forward to meeting you successor. I hope she falls off the tree and into my jaws, just like you did.
Your friend
Chips

Helping

2011-12-10T07:39:00.001Z

I do love to help with the Christmas decorations. We can't have dangly or too sparkly stuff any more because I eat it. Hope your preparations are going well.

Triathlon

2011-11-08T06:38:00.002Z

I had a little go at a triathlon on my walk.

First, a little swim...

... followed by a bracing run...

... and finally a "run while carrying a stick" because I found riding a bicycle too difficult.

Dropping Standards

2011-11-07T19:36:00.002Z

On our walk the other day, we saw a glove perching on a branch in the woods...

On closer inspection, it turned out that the glove was making a very rude gesture.

We were disgusted!

Beautiful Walks

2011-10-13T22:04:00.006+01:00

We have been having a few beautiful walks in between the pouring rain. In this scene TJam made us pretend we were Robin Hood and his Merry (Wo)Men.

It was a bit murkier on this day, but still a certain atmosphere.

Not much news, just checking in :)

Rubbish Photography

2011-10-10T21:39:00.005+01:00

TJam did not start well when trying to get decent photos of me and Beanz.

This one of Beanz the Cheshire Cat was the most comedy of all...

Eventually we did manage to pull a little pose...

...and finally Beanz and I practised our "It wasn't me" faces, because you never know when you are going to need one of those.

Boo Hoo

2011-10-06T23:01:00.002+01:00

TJam was comparing pet insurance on a deliciously chasable, rodent-like comparison website and then she ended up going to the co-operative (open minded and progressive no?) But I am ... wait for it ... "pet too old".

I wouldn't have minded if it had said Pet Too Valuable or Pet Too Awesome.

But no. Rejected on age. Isn't that illegal?

Happy to Stay Home

2011-10-04T01:04:00.000+01:00

Bready took TJam to an Awesome climbing wall for her birthday present. When we learned that they had climbed 8 metres, we were glad to have been left at home.

Thoughts on Being Top Dog

2011-09-26T14:57:00.000+01:00

I am not one.

Blissful Ignorance

2011-09-21T21:34:00.002+01:00

If you look at that tiny black dot on the horizon of the field, you probably won't even be able to make out that naughty dog that followed the scent of a long-gone hare and then decided to eat chicken-poo fertilser. That dog blissfully unaware of the trouble I was in. As they say: ignorance is bliss. Actually, my life is bliss. Ahhhhh.

2011-09-04T22:02:00.000+01:00

A couple of weeks ago, TJam and Fliptop took us dogs camping in Stroud.

This is the pub (which let dogs in)...

... and there were plenty of sheep-free fields and woods for us to explore.

TJam had her favourite camping food. All vegan of course...

... and Fliptop introduced TJam to a whole new area of the alcohol world.

TJam is such a novice in matters involving spirits and liqueurs.

We took our luxury dog bed with us, but Beanz preferred the feel of damp grass under her (getting silverier by the week) belly.

Fliptop had breakfast in bed. Or should that be bed by breakfast?

We had lunch in the pub garden and I even managed a little siesta.

At last, I am learning how to relax.

Naughty Puppies

2011-08-24T20:35:00.000+01:00

Only naughty Puppies would chew an envelope out of boredom or wanting their owner to come home. TJam does not expect chewing from 10 year old dogs. My bad.

Spider Season

2011-08-21T00:55:00.000+01:00

TJam will be checking all clothes before getting dressed as spider season seems so have started early. Personally I would love to be able to get up on the ceiling and give the roaming boy spider a run for his money.

39 Steps

2011-08-20T18:35:00.000+01:00

Today we reproduced the famous film in photographic form. I was first up the steps, with my fellow models close behind. Although in the film it is possible they went DOWN 39 steps, in which case it looks like I'm behind. I wasn't though. I am fast like the wind.

Little John - Welcome to Blogging!

2011-08-01T19:32:00.000+01:00

Today we met Little John and Robin Hood battling it out on this bridge.

I am not sure who was winning, but they stopped duelling long enough to chat and they ended up talking about blogging. Little John hadn't heard of a blog and so TJam was saying how cool it is, and how it is like a journal but you can put photos and links and things in and that other people can leave a comment. And that you can find other people who like the same things as you. (Between you and me, TJam went on and on a bit, but only because she was excited and she wanted Little John to like blogging too...)

So, she suggested Little John have a look at this blog and see if it gives him any ideas!

Hope you did find us! I think you could write a cool blog.

When she got home, TJam went out on slug patrol. When she lifted up this seedling holder, look what she found.

I don't know who jumped higher, TJam or the toad. Actually, I do know who jumped higher. TJam. The toad was actually very laid back.

BIts and Bobs

2011-07-31T21:47:00.004+01:00

TJam got handy with the hack saw and drill this weekend. When it next rains, I'll be able to tell you if our water butt is full, or if we have a nasty leak that someone must come and fix...

To reward herself, TJam started today with the best kind of breakfast in the world. No saucepans or washing up required (do not be concerned about the books on the cooker, those bits of hob ever get lit). She was a right meany, by the way, and did not share her tahka dahl with anyone.

So I started my day with a perfect dip in some ganky old water. Don't fret though, I haven't caught anything from it yet. Not even a moorhen, although not through lack of trying.

Gardeners' World

2011-07-27T10:41:00.002+01:00

This is TJam's rhubarb. She has been told that you are not allowed to pull it in the first year and it was planted last August. It is looking very healthy, as you can see. Our question is, is this the first year, or could we take a couple of sticks to make a delicious crumble? Of course, TJam would also need to get a new oven, but that is a whole nother story (and not very interesting).

Brazil has suggested we just cut a couple of sticks off this year and do the pulling thing next year. Not that we don't trust her, but any other suggestions?

Aliens?

2011-07-22T12:07:00.000+01:00

Crop circles have appeared. So far no sign of the aliens ... I'll keep my eyes peeled.

3 Artistic Ducks

2011-07-19T20:45:00.002+01:00

Some people have 3 artistic ducks to decorate their house.

TJam doesn't, so I made her the next best thing.

Miraculous Recovery

2011-07-15T01:02:00.000+01:00

We'll never know why I came over ill out on my walk and wouldn't walk, and trembled and even let TJam carry me 200 metres. And pulled this pathetic face. Eventually tjam called Pin, who came to pick us up. And then, after all that, whatever it was passed as quickly as it came and I trotted up to Pin's car and TJam was mortified. I have been fine ever since.

So Near

2011-07-09T21:46:00.000+01:00

Yet so far. I am being very well behaved very close to some sheep. In fact, I am more worried than they are. I was having a sleep and they crept up behind me. I was scared stiff! And now I watch ...

Thunder

2011-07-09T02:12:00.000+01:00

I did not enjoy our storm this afternoon. I couldn't fit under the bed so TJam made me a den. It's all over now and I'm not allowed upstairs again. I have cheered up and I found a hare scent on our walk. But no hare sadly.

Lines

2011-07-08T23:30:00.002+01:00

I must not stick my head out the catflap and bark at 3:11am

Courgettes

2011-07-07T00:47:00.000+01:00

TJam has 3 courgettes on her plant so far. That's zuccini or some such thing to you Americans. I am not that fussed about courgettes but I'm sure Chips could force a couple down ...

Swans

2011-07-05T22:10:00.002+01:00

Swans are very beautiful and their babies are very fluffy and cute.

But if they swim towards you and the big ones start hissing...

... you'd better start running!

Stranded on the Motorway

2011-07-03T21:49:00.002+01:00

TJam was on her way somewhere and there was a terrible crash on the motorway. TJam didn't see it but was stopped up only about 200m behind it. As the fire engine arrived up the hard shoulder she tried to take a photo of the truck in the mirror. It was so fast, it was past the window before the shutter went. Don't worry, the engine was off and noone was going anywhere.

Everyone was getting out of their cars while they were waiting. The air ambulance came. We do hope that everyone involved was ok. Everyone was very worried for them.
In the end, the police directed everyone back up the motorway. They were very efficient.

Lucky us dogs were at home cos it was a boiling hot day. For once we were better off in our cool house, even if we would have liked to go the barbecue... mmmm chicken.

Cream Crackered

2011-07-02T15:09:00.000+01:00

We have just been for a great and very long walk. Over 3 hours. At my age. Ok so I am only nearly 10 but i've still got it in me! Now for a nice siesta to dream about cows and sheep and reservoirs and horse poo. Yes, a perfect walk indeed :)

My Hero

2011-07-01T09:31:00.000+01:00

Magrat the Great Pigeon Hunter. I am not worthy. Hope you had a great breakfast.

Roots

2011-06-28T00:59:00.000+01:00

Today I have been getting back to my stray dog roots. TJam was not very understanding about it.

Excuse Me Sir

2011-06-20T21:51:00.000+01:00

But you're sitting on my chair.

Pet Hates

2011-06-11T20:37:00.001+01:00

I hate it when people take compromising photos of me.

Snowie

2011-06-04T11:57:00.002+01:00

TJam has been slow in allowing me to post this. Sorry Black Pea...

It is a memorial post for our lovely friend Black Pea's rabbit, Snowie.

Snowie was a loyal rabbit, and provided hours of fun and cuddles for Black Pea.

We know Black Pea misses Snowie and thinks of him every day. And we are thinking of you Black Pea. Call round for a cup of tea any time. I will even give you a cuddle myself. I am quite the friendly cat now you know.

- love from Carlsberg

Snowie

Role Reversal

2011-06-03T02:30:00.000+01:00

We like TJam to walk all the way round the field while we sniff a patch of grass in the middle. It keeps her fit and tires her out so she doesn't get into any trouble in the evening. Bored humans can create trouble.

Bank Holiday Weekend

2011-05-31T00:48:00.000+01:00

We had 90 very nice minutes of Bank Holiday Weekend today. I frolicked in the buttercups to celebrate.

Catsinthesink.com

2011-05-29T01:05:00.000+01:00

I have started my own splinter group. Catsinthebath.com. Do you think it will catch on?

Breakfast

2011-05-16T09:13:00.000+01:00

Mmm breakfast after TJam has pizza for tea. Hooray for leftovers and humans that don't like waste.

New Friend?

2011-05-15T09:50:00.000+01:00

Is that a new dog laying next to me? No, TJam has just brushed me after neglecting my coat for a week. No wonder I looked motheaten. The shame! And she hasn't even used the furminator yet...

Spot The Cat

2011-04-21T18:02:00.000+01:00

Innocent

2011-04-15T10:07:00.000+01:00

If I said it wasn't me, would I convince a jury?
Because actually there is only one dog in this house that can leap onto the kitchen counter, and only one that eats compost. And it actually isn't me.
I am living proof that dogs DON'T know "they have done wrong." Look at my face: this is the 1st I have even SEEN of a broken plate or missing broccali...

Yum yum

2011-04-09T09:36:00.000+01:00

I have eaten a neck and thorax. I'm pretty sure it was a rabbit. I could only laugh at TJam's 2 legged attempts to catch me. She could only watch and learn, and threaten to send back my hold citizen award. Do I look bothered?

Starting The Day

2011-03-15T07:38:00.000Z

There are bad ways of starting the day and then there is TJam throwing 150g of dog food up in the air and it showering down on the floor. Since I eat faster than Beanz but only usually get half as much, I am definitely in profit.

Development...

2011-03-12T21:19:00.000Z

It's like a scene from the Godfather. Someone call the RSPCA!

Is This Vegan?

2011-03-12T21:00:00.000Z

Bready has made a cake that is vegan. We say a horse is involved and so us dogs should have it instead.

A Tube of Mushroom Pate?

2011-03-11T17:45:00.000Z

Don't mind if I do.
Don't tell the vet. Her misinformed poster says mushrooms are poisonous. I am the living proof ...

ET

2011-03-01T21:58:00.001Z

Do you think our friend looks like a certain film star?

Future Olympians?

2011-02-27T21:20:00.003Z

Do we have famous contacts? Could these humans be ready for the next winter olympics, the UK wildcards?!

They certainly think they look the part.

Bready got a shove from the attendant's foot - seemed to do the trick...

and that could be a new world record!

(yeah, quickest time from the ice to the coffee shop)

Late Christmas

2011-01-27T21:09:00.001Z

Before I tell you about the late Christmas, let me tell you about this owl that we saw on our morning walk the other day. It was sitting on the rugby goal, crossbar thing and just watched us go by. TJam took three flash photographs (she did ask the owl's permission first) and the owl didn't blink an eye. It was amazing.

So back to Christmas. At the weekend, Pin and Huddersfield Town came to our house to have our late Christmas. TJam made mince pies with their initials on. If you don't know TJam personally or haven't seen the kitchen, you may not realise what an outrageous feat this is. And no one got food poisoning. Maybe it was the mulled wine that killed of all the bugs?

P and HT gave us a stuffed bone each so we were busy all evening.

After dinner, we went outside and the humans tried to welcome in the new year with a Chinese lantern. Unfortunately it was a bit windy. HT chased the lantern through the brambles next to the houses, trying to avoid a bush fire or the burning down of people's homes. Then the flaming part of it fell out of the lantern as modelled below.

The humans had a good giggle about it and nobody burned to death.

Remiss

2011-01-26T21:24:00.007Z

TJam has been very remiss at allowing us computer access. It started last year with lots of this.

We took Huddersfield Town on a walk with us. Will he ever find his way again?

We did love the snow, but Chips got cracked paws after a while and actually abandoned a walk at the end of the drive and had to come home. I think she stepped on rock salt or something. She was hopping about like one of those lizards. But also crying. And if there's one thing Chips is not, it's a wimp.

We also made a new friend, puppy Millie. I just watched in wonder as she bounced around. Getting a photo might have to wait until she is a bit old and has slowed down a little!

At the last minute, weather permitted us to visit Brazil and Boy Wonder and all the family for Christmas.

TJam ate a pickled walnut. She said it tasted nice but she didn't offer us any.

We visited all the family and made everyone pose for a photo. Probably not the best idea to photograph Xaja when he'd just been told off. But then it's not Christmas until somebody's cried.

For Christmas, TJam's cousin, Potter, made TJam a plate. You can arrange your food around the face to make hair or a beard. Or cover the face and then reveal it as you eat. Of course, us dogs don't have time for stuff like that but humans can be funny

All over Christmas, Chips slept on TJam's rucksack, just in case TJam tried to go on holiday anywhere and not take us with her.

When we got back home, the canal was still frozen. This picture is actually cracks in the icy canal, with the canal bank at the bottom. Weird huh?

Over New Year, TJam had planned for us to do backups and other boring computer stuff, transfer photos over and blog to our hearts' content. However, a virus put paid to that. Nurse Carlsberg looked after TJam upstairs and made sure she rested.

She is fine now, but has taken a while to catch up with herself. In the meantime, I have been sleeping off my Christmas hangover. I would like to wish all our blogging friends and other friends and family a belated Happy New Year. We hope 2011 is good to you :)

Index of 2010

2010-12-31T21:31:00.003Z

In January we looked at old photos and spent a lot of time in the snow.

In February we got a new doggy neighbour (Echo) and little cousin (Loki), Steven Patrick moved house, the humans had dosa, looked at bulbs and met guinea pigs.

March was wet and B2 won rosettes at Crufts. We went for a walk with Alfie and GG before they went off to Guernsey. There was lots of breaking things and raiding.

In April, TJam put her phone through the washing machine and we went up a big hill. We saw Astra for the first time in YEARS and caught up with Piglet and Puppy.

In May, the sun came out and we saw David Bellamy, as well as Unliz and Coach. We went to the beach. We may have chewed a couple of things too...

In June we did lots of camping and holidays and beach stuff.

In July, we worked out how old we are in human years. Then we went to Devon to meet Loki. Beanz met Elvis.

Bready got her new house in August and we met Towny Farm and her family. The humans went to Go Ape. We saw Dr Noisette and Mr Jeep and we went camping with Cazza.

There was not much blogging in September, but in October, Bamgee got her Kindle (other electronic reading systems are available) and we went to the beach before Bamgee went off on her travels. We went for other walks and no one would take responsibility for the ornamental cabbage's demise.

By November, Autumn was here and the whole country was snowed in in December.

And that was our 2010 :)

(thank you Meep for pointing out I had written the wrong year in! doh!)

Hobbies

2010-12-17T08:27:00.000Z

One of my favourite hobbies is trashing the old dog food sack. I tried to get in it but it was too small so I chewed it up instead. Don't worry, no crumbs went to waste. I made sure of that.

Walking on Water

2010-12-15T06:57:00.000Z

I'm actually doing it!

Winter

2010-12-06T20:51:00.002Z

I think that since the "Autumn" post, things have moved on. TJam has been busy and not letting us get on the computer. Meany.

It was a bit nippy as we set off for our walk.

Our field was frozen and foggy.

Up close, the frost was beautiful. And cold. Obviously.

Stay warm friends!

Autumn

2010-11-17T21:16:00.003Z

Autumn* is here...

... and with it, misty mornings...

...for us to play Hounds of the Baskervilles to our hearts' content :)

We have eerie effect with rising suns, mist and water

and you can always find a good stick to chew
(although the health and safety brigade don't like this, but they will have to catch me first!)

* That's Fall to our American friends :) and anyway, it is more like winter now

Second Wind

2010-11-11T19:09:00.003Z

All was quiet for a little while until Chips got her second wind and decided to see how far down into a can of catfood a dog tongue could reach...

but somehow, I got caught in the photo and somehow I had a guilty looking face, when clearly only Chips is capable of jumping up onto the kitchen unit.

Then, TJam found a half empty box of mushrooms, and Chips licking her lips.

And TJam was shaking her head at dogs getting their second, bin raiding wind at the ripe old age of 10 (Chips is 10 you know!)...

when she saw this. A chest print the size of a 22kg collie cross - as individual as a finger print - up against the kitchen unit. Since Chips makes a clean spring onto any height, and I just go up on my back legs, I was clearly busted.

I know when I'm beaten your honour.

Duty Calls

2010-11-09T22:37:00.001Z

When my big friend Beanz is scared of fireworks or our fire popping, I make her feel more secure by tucking her into her bed and keeping her there.

She is quite a comfy bed.

Who Ya Gonna Call?

2010-10-30T12:41:00.001+01:00

If you've dropped something
In a muddy puddle,
Who ya gonna call?
Our helpful little friend TABOO!

Ornamental Cabbage

2010-10-27T22:02:00.003+01:00

When TJam came home from work, there was something very wrong (see exhibit 1). I played dead so she would know it wasn't me...

Exhibit I

TJam said, "Oops, did you knock that over with your tail? I should have remembered to put it back up on the side out of your way!" (at least, that's how I remember it. Or she may have gone, "(*&^% what are they doing on the floor?! but I prefer my version best)

So I pulled my best, "Oops, it's just one of those things right? not a problem?" face... (exhibit II)

Exhibit II

However, on closer inspection (exhibit III), it became apparent that the ornamental cabbages had not only "fallen over", but had most definitely been chewed up. There is only one possible culprit and (thanks to regular video evidence) it is not me.

Exhibit III

So, not only am I innocent, but Chips is very very guilty. Which puts me even higher up the "who's a good dog" scale than she is! Yay!

Quiet Reflection (or not)

2010-10-21T23:09:00.005+01:00

We have had a brilliant walk this week. We set off with Nero and his pal (Nerospal)...

I had a little stop off in the lagoon. I imagined it was orange sauce.

Next I perfected my Indianna Jones and the Bin Raiders pose. I might ask TJam if we can have it as our header. I just need a proper hat.

We went right up to the top of the hill. Suddenly I noticed Nero and his Pal were having some thoughtful time alone:

I wasn't having any of that, so I bundled in for a bit of fun and games. Chips had the same idea at the same time.

That said, I do like a bit of quiet time myself, so I took myself off to a corner to survey the landscape (and check for sheep) and reflect on ...

... well, that's private. A dog has to maintain a certain air of mystery :)

Yawning at Art

2010-10-19T21:11:00.003+01:00

TJam saw this tractor doing its work, and got all arty and carried away with texture or somesuch. She likes to zoom in on this and look at the contrast of the pre and post plough. Me, I like to imagine the taste of it when they fertilise it and Beanz and I will run all over it, eating muck and being chased by TJam, who has no chance of catching us.

Then TJam got a shot of Beanz and was lining up a reflection or whatever.

She has been watching too much TV and a photo of me is conspicuous by its absence.

Kindle Orphans

2010-10-18T18:48:00.004+01:00

Us animals are becoming Kindle orphans: Bready, Bamgee and Unliz are all hooked!
(note to Brazil - a Kindle is like a computer that holds all your books, just in case you were wondering)

but it's ok because I chewed up Bready's adapter plug.
Dogs 1 : Humans 1
That'll teach TJam not to ponder the fact that I haven't chewed anything for a while.

Welcome home from wherever you went.
I will only half hide my handy work with this enormous squeaky toy.
And do not leave us alone again...

Beach Trip

2010-10-17T20:30:00.004+01:00

We have had to battle TJam to get access to the computer so we are going to try and catch up slowly with all our thrilling adventures. (I can get away with saying that because of poetic license).

Our first adventure was going to the beach. Beanz got the feel of sand under her toes and thought she had turned into a greyhound or something. She ran rings round Bamgee. She was like the wind!

Next, the humans tried to get all artistic and represent themselves in sand art.
I enhanced TJam's picture by scratching her eye out.
Nice touch.

Bet you couldn't even tell which was the sand art and which was the real picture.

At the end of the day, I posed for the camera and TJam went on that big roller coaster in the background. She loved it although she might have a mild case of whiplash. She says it was worth it.

Finally, we had a bag of chips (with a small c, we did not eat me) and drove through the illuminations. TJam and Bamgee did not take photos- they were too busy listening to their Christmas CD and going "ooooooooooooo" at the lights. Beanz and I snored our way through it. It was very boring for dogs.

Kip

2010-10-10T20:15:00.000+01:00

And here is our new friend, Kip! He is a stunt double for Spit The Dog!

Waiting

2010-10-10T17:04:00.000+01:00

We are in a field waiting to meet a new friend ...

Trip

2010-10-05T11:24:00.002+01:00

Today TJam and GingerTed left us dogs in the miserable British weather and headed off to the States. They have apparently arrived safely with their host.

September in a Nutshell

2010-09-30T22:36:00.000+01:00

Somehow, September has sped by and we have hardly blogged. Blame the humans. So, my take on September is this:

1. Bamgee has swung by for a while and while she has been here, she created a rainbow:
2. I snapped my dew claw and the vet clipped it off. Now it is bothering me and I am not supposed to lick it.

3. TJam made a blackberry and apple crumble with blackberries from the fields and apple from her nan's garden. Yum. None for dogs I'm afraid though.

We have generally been hanging around and walking and stuff like that that. The humans have partied, and we have guarded the house.

Chilli and Progress

2010-09-18T16:42:00.000+01:00

The humans will be having chilli for dinner. Bamgee is living on the edge balancing all these kidney beans in one pan. In the old days I would have hopped up on the cooker and eaten the lot while noone was looking but I am so much more civilised than that these days...

Good Dogs

2010-09-03T13:36:00.003+01:00

Pin and Huddersfield Town came on a walk with us to the top of one of our favourite hills.
Beanz and I were on our best behaviour and there are no comedy stories to tell. TJam says thank goodness but I can tell you are disappointed so I will store up my brownie points for some sculldugary and shinanigans when the humans least expect it...

Spot the Cat - Part ...

2010-09-02T22:29:00.001+01:00

Spot the Cat, Part... I can't remember

I have been working hard today, helping tomatoes ripen.
I had a little game of spot the cat to help me relax after all that exersion.

New Home

2010-08-28T19:19:00.000+01:00

We are just admiring Bready's new home. Our favourite bit is the garden. And being allowed upstairs just this once.

I've Been Framed

2010-08-27T07:04:00.000+01:00

No, it's not some comedy video clip (anyway, we have the dubious honour of being rejected by You've Been Framed... must dig out that clip of Carlsberg falling off the settee...)

I wondered why Chips leaped out of bed when she heard TJam coming down the stairs this morning. Leaving me handling stolen goods that I did not steal, even though it looks like I did.

Luckily, TJam knows that, whatever else I DO do, I am not big on stealing utensils off the counter. Foiled, Chips. You can't pin this one on me.

Ice Cream? In THIS weather?

2010-08-26T21:35:00.006+01:00

A few days ago, we met TJam's oldest friend, Towny Farm, TF's beautiful children, Ice Cream, Hot Chocolate and lil Blue Algae Boy (that's their spy names, not their actual names of course).

We went a nature reserve, and it was pretty nice when we all set off.

As there were 3 children and 2 dogs, we seriously needed some doggy maths. That does not make a whole number, so we needed the 5 minute timer to make sure everyone got a turn at holding me (and they had to put up with Beanz too haha).

Of course, we had a downpour. It is the British summer after all.

Once we had gone all the way round the lake, it was time for light refreshment. TJam suggested ice cream and Ice Cream agreed. Towny Farm and Hot Chocolate looked horrified, did a double-take and gasped, "In THIS weather?!"

After the ice cream the humans needed a hot chocolate to warm up!

Meanwhile, I posed on the decking with Blue Algae. He was very good at walking me.

Beanz sat and looked out over the lake. I think she was secretly dreaming of chasing those ducks, but dogs have to stay on the lead in a nature reserve...

Humans Go Ape

2010-08-23T23:31:00.002+01:00

TJam has pretty much highjacked my blog today.

At the weekend, she and Bready left us dogs to guard the house, and then they went off and had loads of fun. They did not take us because they said we would not have enjoyed it. On this occasion, I concede they are right. TJam says thank you Bready for a fab birthday present...

Public Safety Announcement

2010-08-19T17:24:00.002+01:00

As per Beanz's "falling in the canal" post, I would like to make a public service announcement.

This is how you should walk along the canal bank.
We have all learned her lesson.

Stay away from the edge, or you might fall in here.

You can't really get out unless you have a strong human to hand
(which luckily we had).

Oh We Do Like to be Beside the Seaside

2010-08-17T21:53:00.005+01:00

We went for a lovely walk with Dr Noisette and Mr Jeep (his spy name is open to suggestion). I have to tell you that there were hundreds of RABBITS that I was not allowed to chase, even when they ran right across the path in front of me. We also saw a llama and loads of cows (that I was also not allowed to chase).

Here, we pose with our lovely human friends.

We took a picture of us in front of a typically English shelter kind of thing that they have on beaches. The dog poo bin features too!
(I look very alert because there was a piece of stale bread just next to the shelter. I was hoping to double back for it but I didn't get the chance.)

You may notice that, even though it is August, TJam is wearing a winter coat. Yes, it is that warm. NOT.

TJam had a go at cooking though, as a gift for Dr N and Mr J. No one got food poisoning, so that's a bargain. Banana muffins. The smoke alarm didn't even go off.

In other news, TJam has lost the remote control for the TV. If anyone has seen it, we would love to hear from them.

Not Enjoying Rubber Ducks

2010-08-09T07:10:00.004+01:00

Usually I take every opportunity to sneak upstairs, where I am stricty NOT ALLOWED. There is cat food up there. It might go off if I didn't tidy it up every now and again.

However, I am not so happy about it when I am on the lead and TJam TAKES me up the stairs. That can only mean one thing...

I don't know why she does this to me.

I am only wearing a little amount of eau de fox poo.
See? Nothing came off me. It was hardly worth the effort.

Perspective

2010-08-06T12:25:00.005+01:00

When TJam lays down, I look much bigger.

The rugby pitch looks much wonkier.

And the clouds are just cool. Although does this mean it is not long dry?

Some Days

2010-08-04T18:36:00.000+01:00

Some Days I am not interested in the recycling and some Days I just am.

Busy Weekend

2010-08-03T22:28:00.002+01:00

We have had an excellent weekend camping.

We met up with TJam's old friend Cazza. She is in a similar league in the "leave it where you drop it" stakes...

Us dogs were especially happy when Cazza said we should sleep in the middle of the tent, with the humans on the outside, so that everyone could cuddle us! Imagine that!! (TJam says to notice her halo in this picture)

The humans went to the chip shop for their starter, and then to the curry house for their actual dinner.

They didn't take any pans along, so they couldn't heat up the left overs for breakfast. I hoped we might be in with a chance to help, but they just ate it cold.

Then we went for a very long walk, all day long.

We were exhausted when we got back, truth be told. However, today we made up for it. I broke the catflap and Chips ate a punnet of tomatoes and weed on the kitchen floor. Result.

Should we worry?

2010-07-31T16:37:00.000+01:00

Um, TJam has just put a wash on. Should it look as erm ... Frothy as this? Should I get the dogs so start blowing up the lilo?

How Old Are You?

2010-07-28T20:07:00.002+01:00

By my reckoning, I am about 57 human years old. No wonder I felt worn out on that mammouth walk at the weekend (which we will tell you about when TJam links her phone to the computer).

Beanz is also about 57. Gosh. Her eyebrows are going a little grey these last few months...

So, how old are you my friends?

"As a general guide: dogs under 20lb (approx 10kg) will be about 36 human years at the age of five, and thereafter age about four human years per dog year.

Dogs Between 20lb and 50lb (10-24kg) will be about 37 human years at the age of five and thereafter age about four to five human years per dog year.

Dogs between 50lb and 90lb (24-40kg) will be about 40 human years at the age of five and thereafter age about five to six human years per dog year.

Finally, dogs over 90lb (40kg) will be 42 years by the age of five and will age closer to the seven human years per dog year.

This all depends on individual genes, diet, health and lifestyle."

Two Blogs Collide

2010-07-22T16:17:00.003+01:00

Last weekend, two blogs collided and we met Loki!
As Chips mentioned, I was a little bit scared of him at first. Chips was not.
We met each other in the woods.

TJam was concerned she was never going to get a decent photo of this livewire. It wasn't as though he was going to sleep any time soon...

Being the consummate professional that she is though (and thanks to her brilliant camera phone) she did manage to snap this one, which pretty much sums up the pup.

As you saw before, we all went walking in Darmoor. Lucky we chose a dry path...

In the evening, the humans had strawberries from the strawberry patch. Chips helped herself to a couple too...

One lunch time, Moptop made the humans a fabulous lunch on very posh plates. Or should I call them "platters".

Sorry to say, none of it fell on the floor.

We had a great weekend and slept all the way home. We could hardly drag ourselves out for a last stroll.

PS Ogg and Magrat, handsome cats, I am sorry I accidentally chased you. I hope you have recovered. Loki led me astray you see...

Alive!

2010-07-20T22:05:00.003+01:00

Today I was going to blog all about my recent holidays.

But I fell in the canal.

The funny side of it was my comedy loss of footing, trying to grab onto the concrete bank and slipping back with a plop.

The less funny side was that it was a 2 foot drop and we recently found a dead fox floating there, so you can imagine it is not all that easy to get out.

TJam to the rescue, who hauled my sorry self out by the scruff of my neck.

But now I don't feel so much like blogging. (Plus TJam needed to cook her tea so I couldn't get on the computer unsupervised.) For now I am drying out in my bed. Normal service will be resumed shortly. Like tomorrow or something.

Destination Revealed

2010-07-17T23:51:00.000+01:00

We went to Dartmoor with Fliptop and Loki! We saw ponies and went in the stream and up on moors. Even Loki is tired this evening.

What's This?

2010-07-17T15:48:00.000+01:00

Hold on a minute ... Now I think we might be heading somewhere. Don't worry, Beanz hasn't turned white, that is LOKI! 2 blogs have collided (don't worry, Beanz is in the back)

Intimidation

2010-07-17T10:23:00.000+01:00

Beanz is feeling a little intimidated by our host.

Negative

2010-07-16T23:26:00.000+01:00

Hold on a minute... TJam is stroking a head and it is absolutely not mine or Chips's...

King of the Castle

2010-07-14T09:18:00.000+01:00

That's me! I was scared of this setup at 1st. I had a little bark at it but then we resolved our differences and I conquered all. You can see me using my best calming signal to keep the peace :)

Lemons and Lemonade

2010-07-14T08:22:00.000+01:00

Is it a positive slant that TJam bought a newspaper last week and even though she didn't read, she can put it to good use as floor protection from my poorly tummy? And is that too much information?