I am sorry we left you for the weekend and went down to London. I was careful to leave out your favourite food and to make sure someone checked on you (even though the key wouldn't work and they couldn't get into the house). I feel you are overreacting by not coming home. I haven't seen you for 5 days and I am starting to worry, even though I know you pull this 7 day stunt every summer. How am I supposed to know if you are out on an expedition or if you are locked in someone's shed and need rescuing?
It's raining now, so why don't we call it a truce and you can come home, have a pouch of food and we will all be winners. Huh? Waddaya say?
Lots of love