Friday 30 March 2007

You Are What You Eat

And I am slowly becoming Fish and Brown Rice. If you ever needed evidence, here it is.

Swan Flightpath

Today we had the amazing experience of being at the end of a fishing pond when two swans flew in to land. We were at the end of their runway as they splayed their legs out towards us and prepared for touchdown about 5 metres away from us.

I must admit it made me startle a little bit when we heard the whirring sound of them slowing up but TJam says we are very lucky and most people probably haven't had the opportunity of being at the end of the watery runway when swans land on a pond.

Me, I'm just glad they did actually manage to stop. I've heard a swan can break a man's arm.

Wednesday 28 March 2007

Cereal Packets

Would it be so difficult to have the little slit to keep your cereal packet closed at both ends and not just at the top, thus increasing your chance of having a cereal packet that will stay closed by 100% ?

Am I the first person to have thought of this?

If my coco pops fall out of their box I will sue.

Thursday 22 March 2007

Microwave Mystery

For the scientists among you:

How is it possible to heat your hot chocolate in the same mug in the microwave with no problems several times, and then to receive 1st (and small 2nd) degree burns to the index and middle fingers when taking out your lovely, appetising drink? This one will not help me sleep better. The drink itself was not even that hot.

Following mind over matter (brain screams "DROP IT DROP IT" while other part of brain screams, "DON'T DROP IT. HOLD IT AND PUT IT DOWN. If you release the cup you will burn the rest of your body") and quickly (very quickly) slamming cup onto the counter I turned my attention to first aid. Luckily I knew what to do in such an instance. I simply followed the procedure from when my (very young) brother tried to take the jam tarts that had just come out of the oven.

Cheers bro. Every cloud has a silver lining. I have used aggressive cold water treatment. I think the wet cloth in a plastic bag would be excessive in this case.

Thursday 15 March 2007


We have had our dog food delivered for 5 years. For 5 years, I have forgotten to bring it in for a couple of days.

Today, I went to get the dog food from out the front.

It had been stolen.

Luckily we have a good friend Ann and I went bucket in hand to tide us over until I could get to the petshop.

I will have to stop having our food delivered from an ethical source and go to the pet shop like everyone else. Is nothing sacred?

Tuesday 13 March 2007


Flat Stanley has been playing a cheeky trick on us. but we don't care because STANLEY IS BACK! in fact he was never away! i came home at lunch time and tried to clear a space on the settee for my student to sit. As I moved a pile of junk, THERE WAS STANLEY.

If none of my friends and readers have betrayed me, those Texas kiddies will be none the wiser. If any of you are treacherous snakes in the grass then at least those innocent little children can dry their eyes and enjoy more adventure of Stanley in England (that's England UK, not New England. It's a small country outside the US on the other side of the map).

I don't know whether to hug Stanley or smack his naughty little bottom for playing such a mean trick. At least I now understand better how my mother felt when I once got lost at St Paul's Cathedral.

Disclaimer: The above penultimate statement was for comic effect. No Stanleys will be harmed in the writing of this blog.

Monday 12 March 2007

Flat Stanley Goes It Alone

During our weekend, Flat Stanley travelled in several bags and pockets to minimise damage.

When we got home from our lovely weekend (and after we had watched the final of Crufts, wish I had put a bet on) I reached into my bag to retreve Flat Stanley and get a final picture of him arriving safely home.

My blood ran cold as I then searched every bag and pocket. After a round of, "I thought you had him" "No, I thought you had him" I realised that Flat Stanley was still grinning if the ruins of Bolton Abbey.

I have emailed Bolton Abbey, but have had no reply as yet. Teri, if you're reading this, please don't let your son see it! Maybe I can get a clone of FS and no one will be any the wiser. I have emailed the teacher for a template. I can't believe I have let this happen to our guest! He wasn't even wearing a coat.

Sunday 11 March 2007

Yorkshire Dales

This weekend we have been to the Yorkshire Dales. We took Flat Stanley in order to educate him in all things English.

We arrived just outside Pateley Bridge at Springfield Farm. We were greeted by a friendly Mrs Baldwin who doubled in our estimation when we found she had left a plate of cakes for afternoon tea and some chocolates on the mantelpiece. That, and the fact that the cottage was impeccable in every way. We couldn't fault it. There was even a little garden where dogs could go. If it had not been the end of winter, we could also have made use of the garden furnature and the swings. If you are planning a holiday in the Yorkshire Dales, email me and I will give you Mrs Baldwin's phone number.

Anyway, Flat Stanley had several rounds of afternoon tea over the weekend. We were in the middle of nowhere, so we could walk the dogs for miles. Given our recent sheep experiences, the dogs stayed mostly on the lead.

We saw a small miracle. A little lamb that had just been born and was standing for the first time and drinking for the first time. While the mother ate the afterbirth. Yes, you heard right. That herbivore was eating raw flesh. Nature is a mystery but I'm told she knows best. Then another sheep went over to say hello.

We walked to Brimham Rocks. They are 3 million years old or something, and very very impressive. Some of them are balanced on a tiny stone but they don't fall over.

By the time we came down the hill, the mummy and lamb were gone. I can only hope they had been taken in by the farmer for warmth and shelter, and not that lamby had gone straight into a casserole.

On the way home from our little holiday, we stopped at Bishop's Abbey and had a lovely walk. Flat Stanley had his photo taken on the ruins.
We arrived home tired, happy and refreshed.

Saturday 3 March 2007

Guess Who's Here

Yup, the long awaited Flat Stanley is here! He was waiting for us on the doormat when we got back from our walk.

I popped him through the laminator to keep him safe in this house of savages, and then introduced him to a nice cup of tea. How very English. He has written a letter to the children in Texas and is looking forward to his adventures in Europe (and maybe beyond).

Ideas for anything Stanley can try and report back on? Leave a suggestion in the comments. Clean ones only please.