Friday 31 October 2008

Spooky Coincidences on Halloween

- by Chips

I don't know what gives you the idea that I have been up on the kitchen counter.
Um, no... I don't think TJam left out a tin of catfood... not that I've noticed anway...
It must be a ghost photo...
You're right, it really does look like I've got a tin of Whiskers in my mouth.
Perhaps 100 years ago an agrieved cat vowed never to rest until her tin of catfood was found.
It is complete coincidence that this catfood tin is empty to the depth of 10cm and that my tongue is 10cm long. Who would have thought it.

Happy Halloween! Hope yours is not as spooky as ours.

Wednesday 29 October 2008

Snow? In October?

- by Beanz

Here is my photo entitled, "Quick let me back in the house, I need to grow
my winter coat."

Monday 27 October 2008

Catching Up

- by TJam

There is loads of blogging to catch up with.

Like I have been on a treadmill. It was fun. And we got evacuated from the park so they could use it as a flood basin.

But the first episode of the new series of Spooks is on tonight. Only 3 hours and 10 minutes to go. Just time to walk dogs and have tea.

Hooray. I have been waiting 11 months for this. I feel another fan letter coming on.

Tuesday 21 October 2008

TJam's Bad Hair Day

- by Chips
Oh dear. Perhaps TJam should have put her "cheer you up in the morning lamp" to warp 21 this morning.
I know I didn't make it any better but I just couldn't resist going through the bins at the rugby club. Neither could Beanz. She performed a perfect version of her famous "Stand-until-TJam-turns-a-corner-then-run-for-it" move. It's all in the critical distance. Tjam was only saying the other day that she fancied trying CaniX, so I don't know why she was so furious.
And what other choice did we have when we got back from our walk but to shake? If TJam had only left the clean washing in the machine for a week til it went mouldy like she usually does, this would never have happened:
It's not that TJam is anal or annoyed or anything, but she had to go for a 2nd close up, just in case you were in any doubt:

Once it's on the bed she'll never notice.

Monday 20 October 2008


- by Beanz
TJam got these vegan sausages.
When she looked at their name properly she seemed a bit nervous.
I don't know why, and I would be happy to help her out.
(Our American friends may like to read the following extract from Wikipaedia:
"A knacker is a person in the trade of rendering animals that are unfit for human consumption, such as horses that can no longer work. This leads to the slang expression "knackered" meaning very tired, or "ready for the knacker’s yard", where old horses are slaughtered and made into dog food and glue.
"Knackers" is also British/Australasian slang for testicles")
Which begs the question:
Who named these sausages and are they really suitable for vegans?
PS TJam's mum, I hope you did not read this blog entry.

Monday 13 October 2008

Job Done

- by Carlsberg

Today I jumped on the keyboard and stood for a long time on the delete button so the whole of TJam's inbox was wiped out.

Then I pretended I didn't know what was going on and acted indignant when TJam pushed me off the keys.

That should keep her busy for a while.

Saturday 11 October 2008

Sesame Street

- by TJam

This post is brought to you by the letters W H A T T H E B L O O M I N G H E C K I S G O I N G O and N, and by the number 7.

7 possible titles for this post from TJam's point of view:
1. Bad things happen in 3s
2. Too ashamed to tell you what I did
3. Chocolate
4. I don't know how I'm going to make the last couple of days sound funny
5. Beanz and the Lamb Shank
6. Sorry I was late (I was cleaning up dog sick)
7. You know you're going to be mentioned on this blog when TJam asks you what you want your spy name to be

7 possible titles for this post from Chips's point of view:
1. Mmmm chocolate
2. Mmmm activated charcoal
3. Why did you leave out so little?
4. All's well that ends well
5. Grrr I can't believe Beanz got to the lamb shank first
6. Sorry about the sick in the cupboard under the stairs
7. I'm fine. Will you stop looking at me?

7 possible titles for this post from Beanz's point of view:
1. I must remember to jump up on the kitchen counter in the middle of the night
2. My Lamb Shank
3. My sprint across the field
4. Foiled by the 2 human pincer move expertly executed by TJam and B1B2 (that's her spy name)
5. How to remember where things are and go back to look for them
6. Please don't buy a remote spray collar
7. Well, if you ever think that you have got things under control, of course a dog will have to put you in your place

Possible photos to illustrate this post:

Remember this?
Ah yes, activated charcoal.
Hello old friend.

When I downloaded my photos, I found this one of the sky 2 weeks ago. See
how blue it was that one day.

Lucky we had a meat eating frient with us to identify the booty.

See, we can leave it if we have to. Wait... why are you putting that in the bin?


PS Good luck B2

Tuesday 7 October 2008

Don't Say I Never Give You Anything

- by Chips (no photos)

The unconditional love of a dog does not have monetary value and I have nothing else to give.

Or so I thought until the other night.

The following morning TJam had a veritable feast of stuff awaiting her. I managed to raid the bin all over the kitchen floor (2 rotting peaches) and leave 3 substantial samples of urine, faeces and vomit in 3 different locations. Got the phone wires in the trajectory, and the desk leg.

Surely TJam could not ask for anything more.

I know she appreciated it from all the squealing and dancing about, collecting souvenirs.

Wednesday 1 October 2008

Dizzy Departs

- by Carlsberg
A hazy time around 1991- 1st Oct 2008
It is with feline sadness that I report Dizzy has made her final visit to the vet, and is now in the great cattery in the sky.
Dizzy arrived at TJam's student accommodatioin around the 1991 mark. Her housemate Mandy, overheard a woman in the ASDA queue saying that she had some kittens going, so she took it upon herself to bring one home.
Living in a student house in Madchester, Dizzy used up many of her 9 lives. She slipped on the window ledge and fell out of 1st floor window, she did 2 rotations in a tumble dryer (TJam says she wishes she had reported them to the police. Alex - shame on you) and she attended her fair share of student parties (I'm not saying laws were broken or anything but she wasn't a stranger to passive smoking).
She was a dab hand at the allnight essay writing sessions.
TJam's housemates got a cat they liked better, but that Dizzy didn't like at all. They wanted to get rid of Dizzy and keep the cat that cuddled them. So Dizzy went to London to live with TJam's mum and dad. She used up lives 4 and 5 travelling in a Rover Metro down the M1 at ahem, 70 mph, and when she met their dog for the first time and ran up the curtains.
Dizzy lived upstairs and inventively used the toilet window to enter and exit her penthouse.
And there she lived out her days, with TJam's dad pretending not to like cats and by keeping everyone on their toes by pretending to be friendly and then going for them and drawing blood when least expected.
These last few days she made it clear it was time to check out, and check out she has.
I'll miss your witty comments on my blog (unless... you couldn't... could you?)
Chase a few birds up there for me!
love from Carlsberg
PS Is it too soon to ask if you had any treats left over that you couldn't manage to eat?