Sunday 30 September 2007

My Mummy

That's mummy of the "it's a girl!" variety, not the Egyptian type.

My mummy is very good at making sandwiches and packed lunches.
She is also very good at making homegrown blackberry and apple crumble (but I didn't like the 3 small patches where the gravy had dripped down from the shepherd's pie).

My mummy is good at making shepherd's pie. She's good at making the washing smell nice.

She's good at a lot of things that are a lot more important than that, like being loving and stuff like that, but I'll tell her that in private. I just wanted to proclaim the sandwich thing publicly because she made a delicious marmite, lettuce and tomato baguette for my journey home. I could never have made one that nice.


Something is beeping from the corner of the room. It only goes off every hour or so and only peeps once, so there's no way of locating the sound. Something must be running out of battery and I have no way of knowing what it is.

Something vital will stop working and we can't prevent it. THE END OF THE WORLD IS NIGH AND THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT.


Visiting the Queen

- by Beanz

This weekend we went to London to visit the queen and frighten a little mouse under a chair.

Well, the humans did. Bamgee and TJam went to London to see some friends. They contributed to an art project. They coloured postcards and stuck them on a big wall with loads of other postcards.

post cards on the artists' wall The rest of the day they drank tea and ate loads of food. They saw the houses of parliament. They didn't frighten a little mouse under a chair. I don't think they saw the queen either.

lovely lovely fox poo Meanwhile, Chips and I chased London squirrels and rolled in London fox poo. It smells just as gorgeous as the Northern variety only it doesn't say its "t"s on the ends of words.

If you look closely you can see how I rubbed it all in my ears to make sure it lingered even longer.

TJam saw her little baby cousin. He was wearing the t-shirt she send him. It says, "Spit on that tissue and I'll call social services". It's not a joke either. He liked looking at us dogs and grabbing us. I wanted to lick him but I was not supposed to.

Friday 14 September 2007


Relief (rih-leef) n Feeling experienced when you think you have stepped on a slug, but the thing that you pick off your sock is actually a chunk of uncooked beetroot that the dog has been throwing around the house the night before.

Tuesday 4 September 2007


- by Beanz

We are now freecycle converts. It's just like putting an advert on the Spar notice board but it doesn't cost 50p. For the uninitiated, Freecycle is where you join a local group (which really is an email group so you don't even have to get up from in front of your computer). Then if people are getting rid of anything or on the look out for anything, they post a message. If someone wants or has the item, they email you. Then you arrange collection/pickup. Fab. We have got rid of a babygate (no match for Chips) and some glass paints.

I have double checked and you are not allowed to offer naughty dogs on there.

Saturday 1 September 2007


- by Beanz

Apparently there is a name for what we dogs do. This is not "laying on your back with your legs flailing". It is "roaching". These dogs say so.

Now it is official I will do it all the more.