Christmas Presents

(Do not read while eating)

While TJam was out Christmas shopping for everyone else, I started to feel guilty that Beanz, Chips and I hadn't really organised anything special for our human.

So, after much deliberation, for TJam's Christmas entertainment and present,

I used this bag to open this cupboard and do a stirling bin raiding job...

... and then I did a cartoon style, post-bin raiding poo.

Perfect.

What human could want for more?

No Photos

Wow, lots of things have been going down around here, but TJam has not had time to sort out our blog. In the mean time, I am going to tell you about this morning. I walked in a bush where a human had had diarrhea and I got my head, ears and neck drizzled on. TJam was fuming about people pooing al fresco. I mean, it is liberating and all that, but humans should know better and at least dig a little hole or something. Even our cat does that. Or at least not do it at dog head height.

Anyway, it must have been bad because when I got home and TJam had finished ranting about disgusting humans, I actually hopped into the bath tub of my own accord so TJam could shower me off. Yup, it was that unpleasant.

TJam didn't take a photo. We don't want evidence of that sort of thing. Besides which, she was late for work.

Don't Say I Never Give You Anything

- by Chips (no photos)

The unconditional love of a dog does not have monetary value and I have nothing else to give.

Or so I thought until the other night.

The following morning TJam had a veritable feast of stuff awaiting her. I managed to raid the bin all over the kitchen floor (2 rotting peaches) and leave 3 substantial samples of urine, faeces and vomit in 3 different locations. Got the phone wires in the trajectory, and the desk leg.

Surely TJam could not ask for anything more.

I know she appreciated it from all the squealing and dancing about, collecting souvenirs.

The Camera Lies

- by Beanz

Humans avert your eyes. The camera lies. I did not roll in fox poo. I do not need a bath. I repeat I do not... what's that sponge? What's that bucket? It's an optical illusion I tell you!

I AM CLEAN!!

Smell how clean I am!

Biodegrading

- by thoughtful Chips

Last night we learned off the TV that biodegradable plastic bags only biodegrade if they are processed in industrial composters because they need to reach high temperatures to break down.

If this is correct, then it is a waste of money and intention to buy biodegradable poo bags because if they go into the normal rubbish, the plastic is as bad as any other plastic.

Does anyone know if this is right?

This is not much of a comedy post, that's the truth. We might start a campaign to bury the poo, not bag it. Remove a clump of turf, push poop into hole and replace clump. It would be a lot kinder to the environment, but would we get fined?