When eating Weetbix:
1. Put on enough milk
2. Don't sneeze
When you buy a new towel:
Wash it before you use it (unless you want to be covered in towel flavoured fluff)
When drinking coffee in a meeting with your manager:
Don't hold it by slipping your thumb through the handle or it might slip and spill all over you.
Please add on you little tips in the comments box. They must have been learnt through bitter experience.
Welcome to Bin-raiders of the lost (B)ark.
We are Beanz and Carlsberg, a dog and a cat living in The Tip with our humans. We tip a nod to our loyal contributor and friend Chips, who will live on in our memories for her spectacular adventures.
We are all superb rescue animals of Heinz variety, enjoying our 2nd chance to the full.
Beanz likes sunbathing and chasing rabbits, while Carlsberg prefers mushroom pate on toast.
Thursday 30 November 2006
Wednesday 29 November 2006
Life's Disappointments
...discovering that you are looking at last week's TV guide.
Yesterday I spent all day looking forward to "It's me or the Dog" only to be greeted by "How Clean is your House?" This morning I discovered the reason why.
The only consolation was that there was a Monk on that I have never seen before.
So the evening was not all bad.
Yesterday I spent all day looking forward to "It's me or the Dog" only to be greeted by "How Clean is your House?" This morning I discovered the reason why.
The only consolation was that there was a Monk on that I have never seen before.
So the evening was not all bad.
Tuesday 28 November 2006
Cat bite (yet again)
Monday 27 November 2006
Barn Owl
Today at work, I had a Barn Owl on my shoulder. It was just amazing. Just amazing. The man from the Owl Sanctuary was visiting and doing a demonstration. He said, "Here, hold this" and next thing, I was holding Paulie the owl. She was so soft and light, and her huge claws didn't hurt at all. And she was right next to my face.
I remembered the book, "Plop, the Owl who was afraid of the Dark"
Wow. Owls are amazing.
I remembered the book, "Plop, the Owl who was afraid of the Dark"
Wow. Owls are amazing.
Saturday 25 November 2006
Sign of the Times
On Saturday afternoon, we went to Bishop's Castle for the Lights Festival. It was all very traditional, with a Santa's Grotto, street stalls and a roasting hog.
As the children huddled around a Punch and Judy show, we marvelled at how youngsters don't really need technology and computer graphics to enjoy themselves; that they can still be held, awestruck, by ugly puppets and a funny voice. (Of course, there was a disclaimer before the show, that only Mr Punch is allowed to hit people with a stick, because he is only being funny, but we all know that it is wrong to hit people with sticks, don't we boys and girls?)
Our marvelling didn't last long. Mr Punch didn't get to lay a finger on Judy. The sausages had to be retrieved from the hands of a young boy, a gang of 4-8 year olds started jumping up at the booth to get a touch of Mr Punch and one boy started hitting it with a christmas tree branch. Mr Punch and Judy called off the show.
Happy pre-birthday Cazza
Wednesday 22 November 2006
Visitors and windscreens
This picture was taken before said windscreen wiper came half off on the M60 at night in the rain.
This picture was taken before TJam discovered a crack on the windscreen. Before JM said that it certainly and categorically wasn't there the night before, and that "something bizarre" must have happened.
This picture was taken when TJam was still smiling about it. It was certainly a lot funnier before she had to fork out seventy five quid to replace the whole windscreen, which, incidentally, now is part of the structure of a vehicle.
And apparently, it remains a mystery how the screen got cracked. To me, it seems a lot easier to solve than the peanuts and raisins incident but no one is admitting responsibility.
Friday 17 November 2006
500g-300g=200g
Yesterday, TJam came home to find a glass jar, previously containing 500g of nuts and raisins, with a very very low level of nuts and raisins, but the screw top lid still on. She looked at it and looked at it again, and wondered aloud if she had eaten so many of them in only one day. She looked at me a few times, but the lid was back on. She said she thought I had done it but she had no proof.
By this morning I had prepared her proof. She set to with the mop and bucket, muttering that if she had wanted to see things like this she would have worked in a chocolate peanut brittle factory. But she will never know how I got the lid off and back on again. And neither will you.
By this morning I had prepared her proof. She set to with the mop and bucket, muttering that if she had wanted to see things like this she would have worked in a chocolate peanut brittle factory. But she will never know how I got the lid off and back on again. And neither will you.
Thursday 16 November 2006
Happy Halloween
Washing collars
Yesterday, TJam washed our collars. Washed our collars I ask you! So the only decent thing to do was to roll in fox poo, come home and wipe it on my bed. I smell gorgeous.
Tuesday 14 November 2006
Typical
Isn't it typical that, now I have a superduper new blog that is easy to post to, absolutely nothing has happened. It has rained. My windscreen wipers need changing. Why do we never think about windscreen wipers when it is dry, and when it rains, it is too late? *drums fingers*
Sunday 12 November 2006
New look Blog
TJam has been working very hard on her blog for a while now, trying to work out a new format and all. She hasn't got the hang of pictures yet. She was so excited about the changes that she was awake at 5am thinking about it. I took the opportunity to purr by her head and pat her face to ask for food, but she wasn't having any of it.
Speaking of food, Bamgee brought my a pouch of food from Russia. I have no idea what it said on the packet, but I gamely got stuck in and ate the whole thing, and no ill effects yet.
Anyway, let TJam know what you think of the new look. You can now COMMENT on posts. Hooray. And TJam will work on the photo thing. And then she is going to put a password on the old posts so you can only read the archives if you know her. She is getting paranoid about how much stuff is on here.
Speaking of food, Bamgee brought my a pouch of food from Russia. I have no idea what it said on the packet, but I gamely got stuck in and ate the whole thing, and no ill effects yet.
Anyway, let TJam know what you think of the new look. You can now COMMENT on posts. Hooray. And TJam will work on the photo thing. And then she is going to put a password on the old posts so you can only read the archives if you know her. She is getting paranoid about how much stuff is on here.
Friday 10 November 2006
Animals in on the Act
Sssssshhhhh don't tell TJam, but us animals have worked out how to post in this blog, so we can keep you up to date on what is REALLY happening, not what TJam wants you to think.
Hooray.
Hooray.
Exotic Town
I have noticed recently, a disproportionate number of Exotic Pet Shops in Our Town. I have seen 3 today. There is one almost everywhere you go. Admittedly, one was a front for a drugs trade, but no sooner had that one shut down than a new one opened just down the road.
Clearly exotic pet shops are vital. In one central parade of shops today, it went:
Launderette, Off Licence, Mr Chan's Chinese Takeaway, Pizza Shop, Bookmakers, Sweet Shop, Exotic Pet Shop (tortoises, reptiles, parrots...). The greengrocers has closed down. It's interesting where priorities lie, especially in the high-rise part of town.
In other news, we met Lynda, clicker lady today, who said the dogs have come on. And so have I. So that's good news :)
Clearly exotic pet shops are vital. In one central parade of shops today, it went:
Launderette, Off Licence, Mr Chan's Chinese Takeaway, Pizza Shop, Bookmakers, Sweet Shop, Exotic Pet Shop (tortoises, reptiles, parrots...). The greengrocers has closed down. It's interesting where priorities lie, especially in the high-rise part of town.
In other news, we met Lynda, clicker lady today, who said the dogs have come on. And so have I. So that's good news :)
Thursday 9 November 2006
New Neighbours
Today, we got new neighbours on the left.
We were very sorry to say goodbye to Gaz, Karen and bernes. They were good neighbours, and we will miss them. They haven't taken their trampoline with them yet. I expect they will come back to pick it up, but there is still time for me to sneak into the garden under the cover of darkness and have a little bounce.
We were very sorry to say goodbye to Gaz, Karen and bernes. They were good neighbours, and we will miss them. They haven't taken their trampoline with them yet. I expect they will come back to pick it up, but there is still time for me to sneak into the garden under the cover of darkness and have a little bounce.
Monday 6 November 2006
Cover me Down the Chippy
It all happens around here. This evening I went to the chip shop. Not the local one, because that is only open Wednesday and Thursday evenings. Why would you open a chip shop on a Monday, Friday or Saturday evening after all. Who would eat chips then.
There was a police car on the corner outside. I went in and joined the queue for chips (there's always a healthy queue at an Our Town chippy).
There was a child in the queue, who went to stand by the door, at which point the owner advised the child not to go outside as there was a "gunman in the area". Police had done a door to door to make sure there were no children in the street and had been parked up on the corner all afternoon. Clearly it is acceptable for adults to get shot.
So I paid for my chips, shouted,"Cover me!" and did a Cagney and Lacey run back to the van. Actually, I just made that last part up. I just paid for my chips and came home, and Noisette came for tea.
There was a police car on the corner outside. I went in and joined the queue for chips (there's always a healthy queue at an Our Town chippy).
There was a child in the queue, who went to stand by the door, at which point the owner advised the child not to go outside as there was a "gunman in the area". Police had done a door to door to make sure there were no children in the street and had been parked up on the corner all afternoon. Clearly it is acceptable for adults to get shot.
So I paid for my chips, shouted,"Cover me!" and did a Cagney and Lacey run back to the van. Actually, I just made that last part up. I just paid for my chips and came home, and Noisette came for tea.
Friday 3 November 2006
Trying something new
Well, some of you may have noticed that we've had a few problems uploading our pages these last couple of months. So I have decided to have a try at using this format to see how it goes.
New month, new start.
Those of you who were disappointed with my lack of phototaking at the last "worm in cat vomit" incident will be glad to know that I was on the ball on the most recent occassion, and i will share it with you as soon as I can work out the technology... Brace yourselves.
Meanwhile, I am sitting here with the tv on and a CD to try and mask any firework noises.
New month, new start.
Those of you who were disappointed with my lack of phototaking at the last "worm in cat vomit" incident will be glad to know that I was on the ball on the most recent occassion, and i will share it with you as soon as I can work out the technology... Brace yourselves.
Meanwhile, I am sitting here with the tv on and a CD to try and mask any firework noises.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)