Wednesday 28 December 2005

Cat's Christmas

Well, everyone had a lovely Christmas. I spent mine here, and Silky came to play with me and feed me. TJam forgot to leave my Christmas dinner out, so I have played the guilt card by being extra friendly. I waited at the door for everyone when they came back from visiting the family and I slept on TJam's shoulder last night and the night before. Not that she cares as she got a memory foam pillow for Christmas and is sleeping the best she has ever slept.

Bamgee went to her mum's for Christmas day and TJam, Chips and Beanz went down to London for the family experience. They had a wonderful time, with loads of food, presents and visiting. In fact I don't think they were desperate to come home. But they had to because of ME! By Boxing day, Brazil was turning out a roast dinner like a professional and she did us all proud. Thank you Brazil!

There has been snow all across the country and this morning there was frost on the inside of the windows. Ok, that is something that needs to be sorted for next winter!

Sunday 18 December 2005

Bah Humbug

Today, Michelle and Kelly came over for dinner. We have put the tree up but TJam has moved the tinsel because I keep eating it.


Saturday 17 December 2005

Fliptop Sings

Fliptop "I want that one" Sister arrived in the middle of the night and today she went into Manchester and recorded a CD. It is her first one, hopefully the first of many.

Thursday 15 December 2005

Beanz Wins Prize

Tonight Beanz won a prize in a Christmas party game. We think it is the first thing she has ever won. See? She's not as useless as she looks! Ha ha. I'm just joking Beanz. You know I love you.

Wednesday 14 December 2005


Last night there was meant to be a meteor shower but when TJam went out to look, all she got was a faceful of rain and all she could see was clouds. This morning, we went to give some carrots to our neighbour the horse, Joseph, and what should we see but the most beautiful shooting star, shoot right over Joseph's stable and break up in front of our very eyes. Us dogs were not overly impressed, but as a human, TJam has been smiling in awe all day every time she remembers it.

Sunday 11 December 2005


I love helping wrap Christmas presents. All that paper and sellotape to rustle and chase. It's fab.

Saturday 10 December 2005

Sight for Sore Eyes

No, your eyes don't deceive you. There *are* 6 llamas dressed in Santa suits and there *is* a 6 foot tall Santa's helper elf walking between them. 

Saturday 26 November 2005


Thought it was going badly before? Yup, well, then TJam got shingles (a nice little virus for the over 60s) so she has been laying around all day feeling sorry for herself for well over a week. Her lovely mum came up to stay and has taken me and Beanz for a few walks, and TJam is supposed to go back to work on Monday. 

England has had its first severe weather warnings but we have only had frost. Bring on the snow! The humans say no, but I say yes yes and yes.

Friday 11 November 2005

Chocolate Coins

Um, Bamgee, those chocolate coins that TJam bought to give you for Christmas… um… well I kept the foil for you (see photo). The coins were delicious. I wasn't so impressed by the mixed herbs. And the Tesco "Bag for Life"… I'm afraid it was terminal.

TJam was expecting a friend for lunch today. She ran round the shops and tidied up and cooked lunch, although she slipped with the cayenne pepper. When the friend didn't turn up, she checked her mail only to find it is not til next week. At least her friend didn't get her head blown off.

Wednesday 9 November 2005

Clothes Horse

Silky, don't read this, it will only upset you!

TJam went out all pleased with herself today as she said, "I'll put this back door key on my keyring today so if the dogs try and get upstairs, I will just come round the back." Then she drove off to work, only she went to the wrong site and was late for a meeting, there were no parking spots so she decided to park on this gravel bank, but her wheels got into a spin on the gravel. Luckily, she didn't have to resort to someone pushing her off, she got traction at the last minute. When she came home, we had knocked the clothes horse over again. TJam didn't even break her stride.

She triumphantly pulled out her keys and said, "Ha ha! Lucky I put the back door key on here!". Only the back door key was inside with us, and she had two front door keys on her key ring. 

She looked like she might cry like a girl but she held it together and called on a very muscley neighbour to ask if he had the wherewithals to smash a window and let her in. He had a better idea though and rammed the door open til the horse bent and he let her in. She won't be hanging any clothes on the clothes horse any time soon. Nor will she be able to use it for anything else. 

She doesn't care though. We have all our windows in tact. Although how long that will last, I wouldn't like to say.

Monday 7 November 2005

Door Jam

RATE TJAM'S DAY on a scale of 1-10.

 You can email me and rate TJam's day to help her do a reality check and decide if it was as bad as she thinks.

 First it was a Monday 6.30am when she had to get up, after a late night at the weekend. Dark and cold and she had to go to work. She says she has got pee emm tee too. It means she shouts a lot a falls over a lot and drops things a lot.

She left the house after carefully putting the clothes horse against the stair gate (read our October blog entry for details of why this was necessary) and the putting another piece of the clothes horse on top of the first to make a high "ladder" contraption to stop me getting upstairs and eating the cat food. The traffic was terrible and she was late for work. The day went badly but we don't talk about work here.

While she was out, I had a little go at getting upstairs anyway but I knocked the clothes horse over and wedged it between the stairs and the front door. At lunch time, TJam's van pulled up and TJam got out, unlocked the front door, opened it half an inch and then started banging the door and screaming, "Let me into the £$%ing house. You've been trying to get upstairs you greedy little ^£&$s. Now I can't open this &^%£ing door".

She banged the door a lot but she didn't come in to give us our lunch. I hid in the crate and rolled my eyes and wagged my tail helpfully. Then she screamed, "Right. That's it. If you have to mess everything up then you just do what you *&^%ing well want. I can't get in and you can't have any lunch and IT SERVES YOU RIGHT!"

And she turned around and went and sat in the van phoning her friends to see if anyone of them had her back door key, or if she would have to break the window to get in. Then she drove off.

And we didn't get any lunch!

In the evening she climbed over the back fence in her full work clothes and came in the back door. We were so glad to have our lunch see her.

Lucky her, it was dark so she got to keep us on the lead and trudge round the roads for 4 miles in the freezing cold.

Sunday 6 November 2005

Walking and Jumping

We went for a lovely walk with Julie, Will and Alice in Madchester. Alice held a bottle up and I jumped high to try and get it.

Friday 4 November 2005

Dirty Stop Outs

TJam went for a lovely dinner and catch up with Janet, Kerry and Jo. We went too because there were fireworks and we couldn't stay on our own. Then we all stayed the night. We fell asleep. You may not already know this, but there is a time that is called three therty aiy em.

Wednesday 26 October 2005


Why? Because next door's cat is sleeping in our garden and Carlsberg is too scared to go out. We have resorted to cracking open her litter tray. A backward step in my opinion but at least while she is in she's not getting run over. And not catching mice to bring home. Perhaps she will even get down to the job of catching the one living under the kitchen sink. She hasn't shown much interest so far.

Saturday 22 October 2005


TJam and the dogs went down to the London area to visit family. They had a very lovely time. They drive in the dogmobile was good too. How lucky we are. Silky and her son called in to keep an eye on Carlsberg, who kept them entertained. They were less entertained, however, by her pooing in the dogs' bed. Why?

Saturday 15 October 2005


XT500 and TJam went to see Wigan play against Newcastle. It was a fantastic atmosphere and Wigan beat Newcastle 1-0. On the way back a minibus full of drunken Newcastle fans were intimidating and threw a can of beer at XT and TJam. Although they will never read this, I hope their mothers are proud of them. They were surely great ambassadors for Newcastle. Wigan were fab.

Friday 14 October 2005

Mars Bar Mystery

Yesterday, XT500 had a multi-pack of 8 mars bars in his room. When the humans came back from being out, there were 6 mars bars left. They scratched their heads and wondered where the mars bars had gone. The cat's bowl was also licked clean. 

A mystery. 

Surveillance was needed. 

Watch this to find out what really happened. It's 3.43Mb and in TJam's opinion, is worth the wait. It's all true.

Tuesday 11 October 2005


Our friend XT500 has come to stay.

Saturday 8 October 2005

Sheep in a Bog

Hands up who has ever waded into a stinking bog up to their knees to drag out a sheep by the scruff of its neck. That's another experience for TJam to add to the list.

A gang of 4 sheep had made a break from their field into the woods where we walk. By the time the Beanz and I had given chase, TJam had realised what was going on and said a quick prayer to the patron saint of keeping dogs safe from farmers with guns, one of the sheep had broken away and taken refuge in the bog. Probably not on purpose.

Once caught, the Beanz and I stood watching from the side (tied to a tree) while TJam waded into the thick black sludge up to her knees, grabbed the sheep by the scruff of the neck and dragged it to the edge. Once it had found its footing, the sheep left the scene dirty but  apparently unscathed and headed off in the direction of its friends.

TJam's trip to the café was a little smellier than usual and we all had to sit very much outside.

Tuesday 20 September 2005


TJam has just got back from the vets. This morning, I found a little hedgehog, not moving, by the side of the path. TJam went back in the van to collect him. She phoned
St Tiggywinkle's Hedgehog Hospital, and then the nearby Hedgehog rescue. Little Hedgy had to be wrapped in a towel and put on top of a bottle of hot water because they thought it probably had hypothermia. By the time TJam and Hedgy got to the vets, the hedgehog had started to come round a little bit and had walked to the edge of the box to scratch and try and get out. If it survives, we would like it to come and live in our garden to EAT ALL THE SLUGS WHICH ARE DRIVING TJAM MAD. One good turn deserves another, after all!

5.30pm Sad news. Not to put too fine a point on it, the hedgehog has gone to the great hedgehog sanctuary in the sky. In the process of all this, however, TJam has become quite taken with the hedgehog.

Monday 19 September 2005


Hooray for our lovely new lino and hooray for TJam's lovely dad (Boy Wonder) who laid it and hooray for her lovely sister, Fliptop who helped her rearrange furniture. And hooray for being about to hoover twice in one day. Is this the real TJam or an impostor?

Sunday 11 September 2005

Claim to Fame

We went for a lovely walk in the hills today with our friend Silky. We stopped and had a photo call at the stocks on the village green and then we ALL (2 dogs, 2 humans) went into the chapel café where a gentlemen played piano and we had scones for breakfast. 

THE Nat Lofthouse (who was apparently at the next table) stepped on Beanz's tail as he got up to leave. How is that for a claim to fame?

I've been stepped on by a famous man!

Sunday 4 September 2005


Blog Entry by TJam

I am absolutely not writing this in a bragging way. And before you say it mum, yes I do know pride comes before a fall, which is partly why I am not writing it in a bragging way. Consider it a stunned, celebratory way.

We have just got back from the beach. And I don't have anything hilarious and funny to tell you.

No real escapades, Chips had a tiny grumble at an off lead dog walking up to her while she was on the lead. Beanz visited a family eating a packet of crisps. Whoopie doo. Big fat hairy deal.

Prior to this, we walked for 2 hours up and down a busy beach and they completely ignored all the other dogs including a pack of 10 on one side, coming at us on the other side, and us walking calmly down the middle. Then a horse cantered by. Sorry, no funny story to tell. Both dogs stayed with me (small treat permitted). Then, someone ELSE'S dog, barked at it and the owner dropped its extending lead and it went on a merry chase. And my dogs carried on walking. And I breathed normally and we walked calmly through, and there was never a moment when they were going to even think about running.

Today, I was the person I usually stare longingly and admiringly at, thinking, "How does she get her dogs to do that?" And next time I do stare at someone else, I will remember (and please remind me if I don't) that they, too probably have off days, and stories to tell. Their dog maybe pooed they were trying to get money out of the cashpoint, and when they offered to let the next person in the queue go first while they cleared it up, the person said, "It's ok, she's finished now" and just smiled and watched.

Or perhaps their dog has 1 mortal enemy in the world, so it has to stay on the lead, sometimes for whole walks, just in case they bump into that one dog, even though their last fight with any other dog was years ago, when they were fresh out of the rescue centre and wild to the point of rawness.

Or perhaps their dog remembers where people have dropped food and then stands and waits until their owner is more than the critical distance of 5.73m away, so they have time to flip the proverbial bird and turn and bolt back to it before the critical distance is closed down.

Because today, even though I say so myself, we looked good. And I'm sure no one ever suspected that those things could happen to us. Today, my friends, even if it was only today, and never happens again…. We looked like normal dog walkers, out for a stroll on the beach. And if you know us at all, you'll know how special that is.

And then we met Natsta. I have located her leaving work poem and I'm leaving it here for you to enjoy.

And yesterday we went to the fields and had 10am coffee next to 8 other dogs. And nothing happened there either. Natsta is doing fine and it was very nice to see her.

This month's advice to others: if you own a van, invest in getting someone else to polish it for you. Unless you want your arms to ache so much that you're not sure if you will even be able to lift the key to get back into the house. You have been warned.

Farewell Natsta:

There was a young woman called Nat
Who looked very good in a hat.
A fab SLT,
Made a great cup of tea
And you don't get much better than that.

Nattie worked at Tanfield School
Where they all thought she was very cool
Then she said, "Folks I'm leaving,
I'd rather do feeding
And other fun stuff in Blackpool!"

We said, "Natalie, don't be a chump
Who else will fall down with a bump?
Trip over a stair
Wear a flower in her hair
Or start sneezing and make us all jump?"

Nat said, "Sorry folks, this is my chance
Blackpool's full of bright lights and romance.
It's nice to have met y'all
But I can't afford petrol
And I'm ready to learn a new dance.

So it's sad but we must let her go
Where her talent will shine, stretch and grow
We don't ask for much
But please please stay in touch
And call back for a cuppa and hello.

Tuesday 30 August 2005


We have been too busy to blog this summer. 

We went to Anglesey and played on the beach.

 We dug holes...

 ... and tugged seaweed...

... until we were too tired to stand...

... then we walked back to the tent...

... for a little lay down in the sun.

Thursday 30 June 2005


June was the month of Bamgee working from her office on the sofa and of TJam discovering the joys of windows movie maker, and it really is a joy. We dogs were more than happy to provide moral support and Beanz was occasional lookout.

It was a month of watching Big Brother 5 and genuinely thinking that this is the last and that I think we really have had our fill of reality TV.

June was the month going on a Nervous Dogs course at the local dogs home and learning much more about the timing of punishment and rewards. And a real turning point for Chips who, by the end of the weekend was able to sit in a room of other dogs. Granted, she was the only dog that didn't close her eyes and fall asleep for the WHOLE WEEKEND (and the tutor suggesting she may need some more vitamin B and that some of the stress may be dietary). It was a real confidence booster and we met some cool people who we hope to keep in touch with.

Tuesday 31 May 2005

The Rest of May

… has gone by in a blur! 

Bamgee went to work in London for a week and then stayed with us for the rest of the month. Hopefully we did not drive her insane.

It was TJam's birthday and possibly the best yet. She was looked after and spoilt for the whole day and got lots of lovely presents, cards and visits. She got a Swiss Army penknife, pens, books, Simpsons' stuff and a black dog ornament (above) which Chips is in competition with! Her dad has promised to come up and install the dishwasher, which is a Christmas/birthday present.

Carlsberg surpassed herself by catching in one single night:
2am 1 x mouse (chased around, killed + eaten in the bedroom)
3am 1 x bird (chased around, killed and eaten in the bedroom)
6am 1 x bird (chased around and under chest of drawers, caught and liberated by TJam)

Beanz had a good month, appearing in the Dog Club Display team and only letting herself down briefly by veering off the agility course to say a quick hello to a small child in the audience.

It was a sorry time at work, as we said goodbye to Natsta. She had a good leaving do at Pizza Hut and we wish her well in Blackpool.

The garden is looking good and the clematis is looking wild.

Hooray for the month of May.

Happy birthday also to Ginny, Simon, Kathryn and Ann D!

Friday 15 April 2005

Mice 4 : TJam 2

We now officially hate mice. There were 2 running around the front room this evening. We managed to catch one in the humane trap and treck down the road to release it. Is it really more humane to release a mouse into a wet field in the middle of the night? The other one managed to escape.

Monday 11 April 2005


Beanz had her stitches out today and the cone is off her head.

Friday 8 April 2005


A momentous day. TJam finished a can of polish she bought in 1995.

Fliptop came to stay with us for the weekend.

Tuesday 5 April 2005

On the Mend

At last Beanz is picking up. This morning she went for a 5 minute walk, pulled towards a puddle and waded through it. This evening we drove the dogmobile round to the field and had a 15 minute walk. Now Beanz is exhausted. Lightweight. I am fine. 

Carlsberg went AWOL for 36 hours but she is back now, smelling of the farm down the road. She has lost her collar too.

Sunday 3 April 2005


We have had a very quiet weekend. Beanz is proper poorly and just lays on her bed all the time. Her temperature is still 103F. TJam has to give her special food cos she doesn't want to eat, and she has to take water over to her. She has only wagged her tail twice all weekend (Beanz, not TJam). Once when our friend Nerospal came to visit (thank you for the present Nero. Beanz has shared with me!) and once when I came back from my walk to say hello. 

Meanwhile, I am healthy and being very well behaved on my walks now Beanz is not there to distract me. I can even walk past a dog in the street without barking. Go me.

I am cool and very well behaved

Bamgee phoned today. She is still in Brazil working very hard. She is coming for a visit at the end of April.

Friday 1 April 2005

No April Fool

No time for April fools today. TJam went to pick Beanz up from doggie hospital today. She has been going off her food for a few days but 2 days ago, she refused to eat and could hardly walk, she was all stiff. It turned out she had a temperature of 105F and when antibiotics didn't work, she had to have a scan, where they found a "mass" and so then an operation to see if the mass was something dodgy she had eaten. It was only her spleen, so they sewed her back up and she had to stay in overnight. We all missed her. 

Poor Beanz

Anyway, she is home today but feeling very very sorry for herself. She has to go back tomorrow. 

A big thank you to everyone in the Beanz fan club who has texted to find out how she is doing.  And to Nicole and Helen, the vets. 

And to our insurance company.

Thursday 31 March 2005

Home Alone

Lucky it is April tomorrow so TJam will have space to tell you all about how Beanz ended up in dog hospital today, having investigative surgery for what is probably some kind of infection. We will know more tomorrow when TJam goes to get her. I miss Beanz.

Thursday 24 March 2005

Mouse Season

5.55am and a nice juicy mouse to throw around the bedroom and then eat. Mmmm. Then 100 decibel retching noises and full vomit on the duvet cover. Job done.

7pm wow. Mouse season! Another one to crunch in the kitchen. I plan on keeping this one down.

Monday 21 March 2005

Cheshire Cat

TJam has been driving round in the dogmobile, grinning like a cheshire cat. On a more serious note, I have just been out hunting, brought the mouse home, dropped it on the kitchen floor to eat, but it wasn't dead and now it has run behind the fridge. I have tried walking around, calling out to it, but it is not coming to me. Drat!

Saturday 19 March 2005


TJam went to get the van yesterday. It is lovely and well worth the wait. Today, she took the dogs over the hills in the van and a long walk.


Wednesday 16 March 2005


Brazil got the train home today. It is very quiet without her.

Saturday 12 March 2005

Crufts 2005

The humans went to Crufts today. It was in Birmingham. They had a wonderful time, looking round the stalls, watching the agility and flyball. I have got a new bed and the Beanz and I have new coats for when it rains.

Friday 11 March 2005


TJam's mum, TJam, Beanz, Nerospal, Nero and I went up our favourite big hill today. We had hoped to go in the van, but it won't be delivered from Scotland until Thursday, so we went in Bamgee's car. It will need a good hoover.

Friday 4 March 2005

No Van

No sign of our new van. The only one available was in Scotland. The guy phoned on Tuesday but still they couldn't get it down to OurTown by the weekend. So TJam and we have come down to London in Bamgee's car.

Tuesday 1 March 2005

No Van (part 1)

Au revoir Bamgee, who went down to work in London for a week. Hello new van! Oh, actually not. TJam went to pick up the new van but Renault had sent one with no windows in the back, so TJam could not see out to reverse. Now they have to order her another one. We hope it is here by the weekend cos we are going down to London.

Sunday 27 February 2005


We had a very relaxing day today.

And ...

.... it snowed!

Saturday 26 February 2005


We went to the airport to pick up Bamgee. She has been in Peru all this time.

Her poor suitcase got broken. Luckily she still has the receipt.

Friday 25 February 2005


The house is spotless. We have new gravel on the drive. Something special must be happening.

Wednesday 16 February 2005

Oven Surviving

The oven man came. It would cost £100 for new hinges for the oven door. It is about the same for a new oven. TJam has had a fiddle with it and it seems to be opening and closing ok as long as you wiggle it round a bit and use both hands. It will have to do.

Tuesday 15 February 2005

Broken Oven

The oven door has broken. It won't close properly and it won't open properly either. Someone is coming to look at it on Thursday.

Monday 14 February 2005

Bathroom Floor

TJam has taken some time off work. Today she has put cork tiles on the floor in the bathroom. We will let you know what happens when you don't stick them onto a plywood template of the bathroom floor. 

Here is an unrelated picture of Chips pretending to smoke a cigar.

Wednesday 12 January 2005

Mission Over

Still no evidence of the mouse. The trap is coming out and the tea towels are going back in.

Friday 7 January 2005

Mission Ongoing

The mouse has made a brief appearance in the tea towel drawer, but has failed to go in the trap.

Wednesday 5 January 2005


The Christmas tree is down. We are back to normal. The Micra is going back to Nissan finance and we are getting a van. It will be easier to clean with us hairy beasts in the back, and no upholstery.

Saturday 1 January 2005

Mission Mouse (and Happy New Year)


Mouse 2: TJam 2.

At 6.45 am, following two escapes from the humane trap, and one "letting the mouse go too close to the house" situation, we all got up early to take our little visitor down the road. We let it go near some warm and lovely looking properties, so hopefully it won't want to come back here any time soon.