Norovirus visits (and snow)

Poor Bamgee has been sick all weekend with Norovirus. This charming bug is also referred to as "winter vomiting disease" and affects 1 million people per year.

On a happier note, we have had snow! And yes, if you look carefully at the photo, it IS showing two wild dogs ripping the flesh from a recently deceased hare. Of course, they are not TJAM'S dogs, they are a genuine wild breed, native to the UK. The fact that they seem to be wearing fluorescent collars is a mere trick of the light. Heh Heh.

Ok, ok, it is me and Chips, doing what dogs do best. De- lish- ous!

Safety First

Today TJam went to Crufts. Look at the bright new leads we got. No one had better run us over now! TJam also got new wellies. Luckily, her others split on Monday so she decided to treat herself and get a neoprene pair. They are so gorgeous and warm. She will report back whether they are worth an extra thirty squids to normal wellies.

Life int' North

Today while we were out walking we met a group of 6 boys out hunting with their ferret. I had heard about that kind of thing but never seen it with my own eyes. Oh, life in the north.

Underpants

Today TJam has been wondering about underpants. Specifically why it is that someone might put their underpants on inside out, and then think to themselves, "No, I might be in a road traffic accident the one day my underpants are inside out, I'll change them" and then go right ahead and waste a vital 30 seconds putting them the right way round.

Firstly, underpants are equally clean on both sides when you put them on, and secondly, if you *are* in an accident, you are likely to soil them and in any case they will be cut off you and no one but no one will notice if they are on inside out or not. So my advice humans, is spend your 30 seconds on something else.

Sign

This is our favourite sign. You can guess what TJam does every time she sees it. She is such a conformist.

Roots

Look at the amazing roots on this tree. There are roots like this everywhere. TJam is making a point of noticing things like this. It is so easy to walk past and not see them.

Cannot Tell a Lie

OK I admit it. It was me that went through the compost bin. Yes, those are green pepper seeds next to my bed. I did eat the shrivelled, mouldy green pepper. I cannot tell a lie. I am also responsible for the half a banana skin in the kitchen.

Non-Buddhism

Bamgee should be in Peru about now...

Meanwhile, TJam is going to have a LOT of explaining to do when she next visits the Buddhist Centre. Tonight, she has killed some slugs and snails. She has put it off for a long time, but she said something about kill just a couple (haha, call that a couple) now and save having to kill off hundreds later. They are eating the whole garden and we are going to have to grow veg there this year. So I say, be like a dog. Kill EVERYTHING IN SIGHT and don't bother with a guilty conscience. You have a lot to learn from us dogs.

Allotment

It is with regret that TJam has made her decision to retire from her allotment. We hadn't been for a couple of months, and when we went down there today, the fence has been broken down in 2 places, the locked door forced open, the wheelbarrow and state of the art spade stolen, and people had had a massive bonfire, burnt a bike, broken some glass and taken drugs on our patch. Since we don't feel safe there and TJam doesn't have the skill or inclination to build a secure fence to keep intruders out, we will be retiring from the allotment until such a time as we can find one that doesn't need an alarm system.

Lucid Dreaming

Here are some cool branches that TJam couldn't resist getting a picture of. Age makes you start getting all appreciative of that stuff.

And here is an unusual picture of Carlsberg.

Bamgee is back from Cambodia!

On a completely unrelated topic. TJam has always remembered her dreams, and often done reality tests which showed she was awake, when actually she was asleep. Pinching herself and then thinking "oh, it must be real then". Anyway a few nights ago, TJam was having a nightmare, and as she was being carried into the medieval torture chamber (don't ask) she suddenly thought to herself, "wait, this is a dream. I can wake up" and the dream melted away and she dreamt she woke up.

Only then she thought she was awake but actually it was just another dream…. Anyway, last night she suddenly realised she was dreaming. So she thought to herself, "great, that means I can fly if I want to" so she just jumped off the ground and she was soaring through the air. Of course, then she was so excited she forgot it was a dream so in her mind she genuinely was flying around like a delirious nutter.

TJam has wanted to do lucid dreaming forever, and then 2 in a month. Apparently you have to practise. You have to reality check. I wonder if it is because she has started meditating and kind of reality checking regularly throughout the day, and that now he is doing it in her sleep as well. It is all bizarre but kind of interesting and TJam is doing a characteristically obsessive web search on the joys of lucid dreaming.

Incidentally, "nutter" is not in the microsoft spellcheck. What are they thinking?

Nice Walk

We went for a lovely walk up Rivington today. TJam even got some half decent pictures of Beanz.

I got a picture of me with some other dogs to go in my Record of Achievement.

Even Nero was on for a game today, it must have been the beauty of nature that got to him.

Reunion

Today, TJam's friend Snow Dance came to visit. She hasn't changed at all! They had a fab time catching up, and then they turned to reminiscing.

They went on friends reunited and looked up everyone in their school year. Then they got brave and looked up everyone in the year above them who used to scare the bejeebiez out of them.

Weird that two grown women should be sweating and feeling sick with fear whilst looking at photos of 14 year olds. They still hold their power over TJam and Snow Dance, with their luminous towelling socks, mullet perms and black eye-liner.

Oh the 80s. TJam intends to put some photos up of her own. Brazil - have you got any you could send up?

Dog School

Today I started at new dog training school. And they have said I can go back again next week, so I can't have been that bad. Actually, TJam was proud of me. 10 dogs in a hall and only one tiny little bark. Oh how I have come on.

Cat's Christmas

Well, everyone had a lovely Christmas. I spent mine here, and Silky came to play with me and feed me. TJam forgot to leave my Christmas dinner out, so I have played the guilt card by being extra friendly. I waited at the door for everyone when they came back from visiting the family and I slept on TJam's shoulder last night and the night before. Not that she cares as she got a memory foam pillow for Christmas and is sleeping the best she has ever slept.

Bamgee went to her mum's for Christmas day and TJam, Chips and Beanz went down to London for the family experience. They had a wonderful time, with loads of food, presents and visiting. In fact I don't think they were desperate to come home. But they had to because of ME! By Boxing day, Brazil was turning out a roast dinner like a professional and she did us all proud. Thank you Brazil!

There has been snow all across the country and this morning there was frost on the inside of the windows. Ok, that is something that needs to be sorted for next winter!

Bah Humbug

Today, Michelle and Kelly came over for dinner. We have put the tree up but TJam has moved the tinsel because I keep eating it.

Spoilsport.

Fliptop Sings

Fliptop "I want that one" Sister arrived in the middle of the night and today she went into Manchester and recorded a CD. It is her first one, hopefully the first of many.

Beanz Wins Prize

Tonight Beanz won a prize in a Christmas party game. We think it is the first thing she has ever won. See? She's not as useless as she looks! Ha ha. I'm just joking Beanz. You know I love you.

Meteor

Last night there was meant to be a meteor shower but when TJam went out to look, all she got was a faceful of rain and all she could see was clouds. This morning, we went to give some carrots to our neighbour the horse, Joseph, and what should we see but the most beautiful shooting star, shoot right over Joseph's stable and break up in front of our very eyes. Us dogs were not overly impressed, but as a human, TJam has been smiling in awe all day every time she remembers it.

Helping

I love helping wrap Christmas presents. All that paper and sellotape to rustle and chase. It's fab.

Sight for Sore Eyes

No, your eyes don't deceive you. There *are* 6 llamas dressed in Santa suits and there *is* a 6 foot tall Santa's helper elf walking between them.