Parsnips

Let's hope for my sake that they are not poisonous. They are certainly delicious. No wonder TJam wanted to roast this one for Sunday lunch. Looks like it's plan b for her now ...

Beanz aka Fenton

If you have seen the footage of Fenton the (handsome) dog chasing deer in Richmond Park, you probably fall into one of two camps. The "haha that is hilarious - been there, done that" camp, and the "how terrible, how can you laugh about that" camp.

TJam falls into the former. Not because she doesn't think it is terrible to let a dog chase deer, but because she recognises that, even with the best will in the world, things go wrong sometimes. She felt for that owner. And because sometimes, if all's well that ends well, then you have to laugh or you'll cry.

And so, I would like to tell you about my fabulous Saturday. As you know, I am partial to chasing, and so I have to stay on my lead when I walk past sheep fields and the like. I am not that fussed about actually catching anything, I just like the thrill of the chase. I am not a killer or anything. I have proved that on several occasions.

When I went flying into the woods on my walk, TJam thought I was after squirrels.

(Can you see where this is going?)

It was only when a flock of about 8 delicious sheep came charging out of the woods, that TJam realised the real reason for my delight. I couldn't hear TJam shouting "come here" (the polite version). I was in the zone. It's not every day sheep get out of their field and into my woods.

Sadly for me, but luckily for TJam and the sheep, some passers by shouted and waved their stick at me. It was ok by me, I'd had my fun. I turned round and bounded joyfully towards TJam to see how excited she would be at my glorious find.

Not as excited as I had hoped, as it turned out.

A jogger ran by and said he wished he'd been filming. TJam didn't find that very funny either.

I have been told to tell you that all the sheep ran off and appeared in good health.

Scan

After I had my blood test, the vet said I would need a scan of my liver because I had some slightly raised enzymes. TJam sneakily took me to a different surgery (where the scanner lives) so I didn't realise where I was until she walked away and left me. But worse still, I DID NOT GET ANY BREAKFAST! Can you imagine?

TJam took the opportunity to spend some one-on-one time with Beanz. They went to this enormous mountain...

Oh, wait, it was just a big rock.

Apparently, Beanz found herself a boyfriend and invited him to play. This is the first dog she has invited to play in 10 years. It would seem I cramp her style.

Meanwhile, I had my scan, which was pretty much fine, and I got some liver supplements. It is not yet clear whether these are "neurotic owner" supplements or whether they will bring my enzymes down, but I don't mind them, so it doesn't matter.

Here I am showing off my newly shaved belly. Brrrr. Couldn't you have taken me in the summer, TJam?

Blood Test

See this bald patch? I have been violated!

I'd like to say I was brave and fearless when the vet took blood, but TJam would only come on here and tell you it took 3 people and that I was a total wimp.

Remember that time I was poorly out on a walk? Well, it's happened a couple of times recently and I have been a bit thirsty, so TJam took me for a check up. Since my wee was dilute, they took some blood. I am told it is for the best.

On the upside, I got some nice tasty treats when I got home, reward for not biting the vet.

New Friend?

What's this? A new friend sitting next to B2?

I thought so at first, but it is actually all the fur that came out of him when he was stripped.

You've got to admit he looks good. B2 that is, not the not-friend. The not-friend looks... um.... different.

Happy New Year!

Firstly, Happy New Year to everyone.

A beautiful start it has been.

Secondly, as TJam is wont to do once a year, she raises this glass of wine to the original Jump The Dog. She will reminisce about... hmm, which humiliating story should she tell? What about the time Jump got into the kitchens in one of the trendiest restaurants in Manchester? Yup, that was pretty humiliating. Cheers to Jump for teaching TJam to worry less about what other people think of you.

Hangover

What's this?

Bamgee gave us an excellent Christmas present this year

but I think Beanz may have overdone it a little.

Perhaps she needs hair of the dog.

Santa's Helpers

Once again, us dogs have to take a back seat while Santa's Elves get on with the important business of wrapping our tripe sticks for tomorrow...

We will go off guard duty tonight and let Santa in whenever he wants to call by.

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Toymaker

Today, it was no dogs allowed, as Puppy and Piglet took their plastic milk bottle tops to the toymaker...

The toymaker pointed out all the different little plastic soldiers and figures and puppy and piglet chose what they wanted.

Then the toymaker poured the plastic into the mould , counted to 10,

and took it out of the mould.

Then he took the little figure to his workshop to file it down.

Tada! Tom Payne, the revolutionary.

And all made out of milk bottle tops.

Christmas Presents

(Do not read while eating)

While TJam was out Christmas shopping for everyone else, I started to feel guilty that Beanz, Chips and I hadn't really organised anything special for our human.

So, after much deliberation, for TJam's Christmas entertainment and present,

I used this bag to open this cupboard and do a stirling bin raiding job...

... and then I did a cartoon style, post-bin raiding poo.

Perfect.

What human could want for more?

New Obsession

I have got a new friend. I am completely obsessed with her. When she is in her owner's arms, I just tag along behind and sometimes I can't help myself and I jump up, even though I know I am not supposed to.

This is B3...

She is a lively little thing and not easy to get a photo of!

And I just can't stop following her.

Wherever she goes, I'll be there.

Brrr

TJam has been doing some shopping today. We wondered if she was going to make it home when the weather turned like THIS:

(Did you spot the optimistic little kid crossing the road with his sledge?

It was just like a Hollywood film!)

When TJam got home, we went for a most excellent walk. Beanz was overjoyed. Snow is her absolute favourite. She did her special bouncy run to celebrate.

Dear Christmas Tree Fairy

You were a lot of fun for a short period of time. I look forward to meeting you successor. I hope she falls off the tree and into my jaws, just like you did.
Your friend
Chips

Helping

I do love to help with the Christmas decorations. We can't have dangly or too sparkly stuff any more because I eat it. Hope your preparations are going well.

Triathlon

I had a little go at a triathlon on my walk.

First, a little swim...

... followed by a bracing run...

... and finally a "run while carrying a stick" because I found riding a bicycle too difficult.

Dropping Standards

On our walk the other day, we saw a glove perching on a branch in the woods...

On closer inspection, it turned out that the glove was making a very rude gesture.

We were disgusted!

Beautiful Walks

We have been having a few beautiful walks in between the pouring rain. In this scene TJam made us pretend we were Robin Hood and his Merry (Wo)Men.

It was a bit murkier on this day, but still a certain atmosphere.

Not much news, just checking in :)

Rubbish Photography

TJam did not start well when trying to get decent photos of me and Beanz.

This one of Beanz the Cheshire Cat was the most comedy of all...

Eventually we did manage to pull a little pose...

...and finally Beanz and I practised our "It wasn't me" faces, because you never know when you are going to need one of those.

Boo Hoo

TJam was comparing pet insurance on a deliciously chasable, rodent-like comparison website and then she ended up going to the co-operative (open minded and progressive no?) But I am ... wait for it ... "pet too old".

I wouldn't have minded if it had said Pet Too Valuable or Pet Too Awesome.

But no. Rejected on age. Isn't that illegal?

Happy to Stay Home

Bready took TJam to an Awesome climbing wall for her birthday present. When we learned that they had climbed 8 metres, we were glad to have been left at home.