Monday, 31 March 2008

Dog Sick

- by Chips

The clue to this post's topic is in the title. There are no photos. The feint of heart and emetophobes turn back now. Dog owners continue. You are bound to be used to this kind of talk.

Personally, I prefer to vomit in a corner or at the very least up next to a wall. Beanz is much more indiscriminate. I don't like to do the deed on anything. I prefer bare floor.

You can add more after-vom entertainment by puking behind a door (lots of screaming, especially if it is behind the front door and your owner has just taken their shoes off, plus lots of huffing, puffing and swearing as your human has to clean under the door). Other recommended places are: next to ceiling to floor curtains (high absorbancy) and on windowsill (high late discovery factor, so the opportunity to return and admire your scene of crime before it is cleared away).

So, this morning, I had used all my favourite spots, and because I have been feeling a little bit poorly sick and I'd tried to manage some breakfast, I felt the urge come over me as I was saying goodbye to TJam as she left for work.

I made that "got to get it up" squelchy noise and TJ tried to get a towel between the corner of the windowsill and her work bag. Obviously, I will not be sick on something so I jumped onto the dog crate and then, my piece de resistance, I threw up WHILE I WAS JUMPING OFF THE CRATE! It was spectacular. TJam watched in awe and gave me 10/10 for artistic interpretation.

A little bit went on TJam's brother's Christmas present but she wiped it off and we don't think he will notice.

I am feeling much better now but I am starving and I was only allowed a spoonful of food. I will sit and watch TJ all evening until she feels guilty and gives me a bit more.


Mack said...

Cool!! I haven't puked too many times, but my kitty sissy Ming is a world champion puker!

Chips said...

You will have to start rating her efforts and we'll have a competition! Volume, consistency, artistic impression and human reaction!