Shingles

Thought it was going badly before? Yup, well, then TJam got shingles (a nice little virus for the over 60s) so she has been laying around all day feeling sorry for herself for well over a week. Her lovely mum came up to stay and has taken me and Beanz for a few walks, and TJam is supposed to go back to work on Monday. 

England has had its first severe weather warnings but we have only had frost. Bring on the snow! The humans say no, but I say yes yes and yes.

Chocolate Coins

Um, Bamgee, those chocolate coins that TJam bought to give you for Christmas… um… well I kept the foil for you (see photo). The coins were delicious. I wasn't so impressed by the mixed herbs. And the Tesco "Bag for Life"… I'm afraid it was terminal.

TJam was expecting a friend for lunch today. She ran round the shops and tidied up and cooked lunch, although she slipped with the cayenne pepper. When the friend didn't turn up, she checked her mail only to find it is not til next week. At least her friend didn't get her head blown off.

Clothes Horse

Silky, don't read this, it will only upset you!

TJam went out all pleased with herself today as she said, "I'll put this back door key on my keyring today so if the dogs try and get upstairs, I will just come round the back." Then she drove off to work, only she went to the wrong site and was late for a meeting, there were no parking spots so she decided to park on this gravel bank, but her wheels got into a spin on the gravel. Luckily, she didn't have to resort to someone pushing her off, she got traction at the last minute. When she came home, we had knocked the clothes horse over again. TJam didn't even break her stride.

She triumphantly pulled out her keys and said, "Ha ha! Lucky I put the back door key on here!". Only the back door key was inside with us, and she had two front door keys on her key ring. 

She looked like she might cry like a girl but she held it together and called on a very muscley neighbour to ask if he had the wherewithals to smash a window and let her in. He had a better idea though and rammed the door open til the horse bent and he let her in. She won't be hanging any clothes on the clothes horse any time soon. Nor will she be able to use it for anything else. 

She doesn't care though. We have all our windows in tact. Although how long that will last, I wouldn't like to say.

Door Jam

RATE TJAM'S DAY on a scale of 1-10.

 You can email me and rate TJam's day to help her do a reality check and decide if it was as bad as she thinks.

 First it was a Monday 6.30am when she had to get up, after a late night at the weekend. Dark and cold and she had to go to work. She says she has got pee emm tee too. It means she shouts a lot a falls over a lot and drops things a lot.

She left the house after carefully putting the clothes horse against the stair gate (read our October blog entry for details of why this was necessary) and the putting another piece of the clothes horse on top of the first to make a high "ladder" contraption to stop me getting upstairs and eating the cat food. The traffic was terrible and she was late for work. The day went badly but we don't talk about work here.

While she was out, I had a little go at getting upstairs anyway but I knocked the clothes horse over and wedged it between the stairs and the front door. At lunch time, TJam's van pulled up and TJam got out, unlocked the front door, opened it half an inch and then started banging the door and screaming, "Let me into the £$%ing house. You've been trying to get upstairs you greedy little ^£&$s. Now I can't open this &^%£ing door".

She banged the door a lot but she didn't come in to give us our lunch. I hid in the crate and rolled my eyes and wagged my tail helpfully. Then she screamed, "Right. That's it. If you have to mess everything up then you just do what you *&^%ing well want. I can't get in and you can't have any lunch and IT SERVES YOU RIGHT!"

And she turned around and went and sat in the van phoning her friends to see if anyone of them had her back door key, or if she would have to break the window to get in. Then she drove off.

And we didn't get any lunch!

In the evening she climbed over the back fence in her full work clothes and came in the back door. We were so glad to have our lunch see her.

Lucky her, it was dark so she got to keep us on the lead and trudge round the roads for 4 miles in the freezing cold.

Walking and Jumping

We went for a lovely walk with Julie, Will and Alice in Madchester. Alice held a bottle up and I jumped high to try and get it.

Dirty Stop Outs

TJam went for a lovely dinner and catch up with Janet, Kerry and Jo. We went too because there were fireworks and we couldn't stay on our own. Then we all stayed the night. We fell asleep. You may not already know this, but there is a time that is called three therty aiy em.

Because

Why? Because next door's cat is sleeping in our garden and Carlsberg is too scared to go out. We have resorted to cracking open her litter tray. A backward step in my opinion but at least while she is in she's not getting run over. And not catching mice to bring home. Perhaps she will even get down to the job of catching the one living under the kitchen sink. She hasn't shown much interest so far.

Why?

TJam and the dogs went down to the London area to visit family. They had a very lovely time. They drive in the dogmobile was good too. How lucky we are. Silky and her son called in to keep an eye on Carlsberg, who kept them entertained. They were less entertained, however, by her pooing in the dogs' bed. Why?

Football

XT500 and TJam went to see Wigan play against Newcastle. It was a fantastic atmosphere and Wigan beat Newcastle 1-0. On the way back a minibus full of drunken Newcastle fans were intimidating and threw a can of beer at XT and TJam. Although they will never read this, I hope their mothers are proud of them. They were surely great ambassadors for Newcastle. Wigan were fab.

Mars Bar Mystery

Yesterday, XT500 had a multi-pack of 8 mars bars in his room. When the humans came back from being out, there were 6 mars bars left. They scratched their heads and wondered where the mars bars had gone. The cat's bowl was also licked clean. 

A mystery. 

Surveillance was needed. 

Watch this to find out what really happened. It's 3.43Mb and in TJam's opinion, is worth the wait. It's all true.

Visitor

Our friend XT500 has come to stay.

Sheep in a Bog

Hands up who has ever waded into a stinking bog up to their knees to drag out a sheep by the scruff of its neck. That's another experience for TJam to add to the list.

A gang of 4 sheep had made a break from their field into the woods where we walk. By the time the Beanz and I had given chase, TJam had realised what was going on and said a quick prayer to the patron saint of keeping dogs safe from farmers with guns, one of the sheep had broken away and taken refuge in the bog. Probably not on purpose.

Once caught, the Beanz and I stood watching from the side (tied to a tree) while TJam waded into the thick black sludge up to her knees, grabbed the sheep by the scruff of the neck and dragged it to the edge. Once it had found its footing, the sheep left the scene dirty but  apparently unscathed and headed off in the direction of its friends.

TJam's trip to the café was a little smellier than usual and we all had to sit very much outside.

Hedgehog

TJam has just got back from the vets. This morning, I found a little hedgehog, not moving, by the side of the path. TJam went back in the van to collect him. She phoned

St Tiggywinkle's Hedgehog Hospital, and then the nearby Hedgehog rescue. Little Hedgy had to be wrapped in a towel and put on top of a bottle of hot water because they thought it probably had hypothermia. By the time TJam and Hedgy got to the vets, the hedgehog had started to come round a little bit and had walked to the edge of the box to scratch and try and get out. If it survives, we would like it to come and live in our garden to EAT ALL THE SLUGS WHICH ARE DRIVING TJAM MAD. One good turn deserves another, after all!

5.30pm Sad news. Not to put too fine a point on it, the hedgehog has gone to the great hedgehog sanctuary in the sky. In the process of all this, however, TJam has become quite taken with the hedgehog.

Lino

Hooray for our lovely new lino and hooray for TJam's lovely dad (Boy Wonder) who laid it and hooray for her lovely sister, Fliptop who helped her rearrange furniture. And hooray for being about to hoover twice in one day. Is this the real TJam or an impostor?

Claim to Fame

We went for a lovely walk in the hills today with our friend Silky. We stopped and had a photo call at the stocks on the village green and then we ALL (2 dogs, 2 humans) went into the chapel café where a gentlemen played piano and we had scones for breakfast. 

THE Nat Lofthouse (who was apparently at the next table) stepped on Beanz's tail as he got up to leave. How is that for a claim to fame?

I've been stepped on by a famous man!

Progress

Blog Entry by TJam

I am absolutely not writing this in a bragging way. And before you say it mum, yes I do know pride comes before a fall, which is partly why I am not writing it in a bragging way. Consider it a stunned, celebratory way.

We have just got back from the beach. And I don't have anything hilarious and funny to tell you.

No real escapades, Chips had a tiny grumble at an off lead dog walking up to her while she was on the lead. Beanz visited a family eating a packet of crisps. Whoopie doo. Big fat hairy deal.

Prior to this, we walked for 2 hours up and down a busy beach and they completely ignored all the other dogs including a pack of 10 on one side, coming at us on the other side, and us walking calmly down the middle. Then a horse cantered by. Sorry, no funny story to tell. Both dogs stayed with me (small treat permitted). Then, someone ELSE'S dog, barked at it and the owner dropped its extending lead and it went on a merry chase. And my dogs carried on walking. And I breathed normally and we walked calmly through, and there was never a moment when they were going to even think about running.

Today, I was the person I usually stare longingly and admiringly at, thinking, "How does she get her dogs to do that?" And next time I do stare at someone else, I will remember (and please remind me if I don't) that they, too probably have off days, and stories to tell. Their dog maybe pooed they were trying to get money out of the cashpoint, and when they offered to let the next person in the queue go first while they cleared it up, the person said, "It's ok, she's finished now" and just smiled and watched.

Or perhaps their dog has 1 mortal enemy in the world, so it has to stay on the lead, sometimes for whole walks, just in case they bump into that one dog, even though their last fight with any other dog was years ago, when they were fresh out of the rescue centre and wild to the point of rawness.

Or perhaps their dog remembers where people have dropped food and then stands and waits until their owner is more than the critical distance of 5.73m away, so they have time to flip the proverbial bird and turn and bolt back to it before the critical distance is closed down.

Because today, even though I say so myself, we looked good. And I'm sure no one ever suspected that those things could happen to us. Today, my friends, even if it was only today, and never happens again…. We looked like normal dog walkers, out for a stroll on the beach. And if you know us at all, you'll know how special that is.

And then we met Natsta. I have located her leaving work poem and I'm leaving it here for you to enjoy.

And yesterday we went to the fields and had 10am coffee next to 8 other dogs. And nothing happened there either. Natsta is doing fine and it was very nice to see her.

This month's advice to others: if you own a van, invest in getting someone else to polish it for you. Unless you want your arms to ache so much that you're not sure if you will even be able to lift the key to get back into the house. You have been warned.

Farewell Natsta:

There was a young woman called Nat
Who looked very good in a hat.
A fab SLT,
Made a great cup of tea
And you don't get much better than that.

Nattie worked at Tanfield School
Where they all thought she was very cool
Then she said, "Folks I'm leaving,
I'd rather do feeding
And other fun stuff in Blackpool!"

We said, "Natalie, don't be a chump
Who else will fall down with a bump?
Trip over a stair
Wear a flower in her hair
Or start sneezing and make us all jump?"

Nat said, "Sorry folks, this is my chance
Blackpool's full of bright lights and romance.
It's nice to have met y'all
But I can't afford petrol
And I'm ready to learn a new dance.

So it's sad but we must let her go
Where her talent will shine, stretch and grow
We don't ask for much
But please please stay in touch
And call back for a cuppa and hello.

Holidays

We have been too busy to blog this summer. 

We went to Anglesey and played on the beach.

 We dug holes...

 ... and tugged seaweed...

... until we were too tired to stand...

... then we walked back to the tent...

... for a little lay down in the sun.

June

June was the month of Bamgee working from her office on the sofa and of TJam discovering the joys of windows movie maker, and it really is a joy. We dogs were more than happy to provide moral support and Beanz was occasional lookout.

It was a month of watching Big Brother 5 and genuinely thinking that this is the last and that I think we really have had our fill of reality TV.

June was the month going on a Nervous Dogs course at the local dogs home and learning much more about the timing of punishment and rewards. And a real turning point for Chips who, by the end of the weekend was able to sit in a room of other dogs. Granted, she was the only dog that didn't close her eyes and fall asleep for the WHOLE WEEKEND (and the tutor suggesting she may need some more vitamin B and that some of the stress may be dietary). It was a real confidence booster and we met some cool people who we hope to keep in touch with.

The Rest of May

… has gone by in a blur! 

Bamgee went to work in London for a week and then stayed with us for the rest of the month. Hopefully we did not drive her insane.

It was TJam's birthday and possibly the best yet. She was looked after and spoilt for the whole day and got lots of lovely presents, cards and visits. She got a Swiss Army penknife, pens, books, Simpsons' stuff and a black dog ornament (above) which Chips is in competition with! Her dad has promised to come up and install the dishwasher, which is a Christmas/birthday present.

Carlsberg surpassed herself by catching in one single night:

2am 1 x mouse (chased around, killed + eaten in the bedroom)

3am 1 x bird (chased around, killed and eaten in the bedroom)

6am 1 x bird (chased around and under chest of drawers, caught and liberated by TJam)

Beanz had a good month, appearing in the Dog Club Display team and only letting herself down briefly by veering off the agility course to say a quick hello to a small child in the audience.

It was a sorry time at work, as we said goodbye to Natsta. She had a good leaving do at Pizza Hut and we wish her well in Blackpool.

The garden is looking good and the clematis is looking wild.

Hooray for the month of May.

Happy birthday also to Ginny, Simon, Kathryn and Ann D!

Mice 4 : TJam 2

We now officially hate mice. There were 2 running around the front room this evening. We managed to catch one in the humane trap and treck down the road to release it. Is it really more humane to release a mouse into a wet field in the middle of the night? The other one managed to escape.