Not My Week

- by Beanz

It has not really been my last couple of weeks. First I had this thing I get every couple of months. I think it is a lick granuloma, or it could become one. Or something. I have some cream for it but it does my head in. I can't stop licking it. Then I get, "Who's LICKING?" and I have to leave it alone til no one is looking.


Then, last night, I was irritated by something. TJam had a feel at my chest, in case I had a tick or similar. Brace yourself if you are squeamish. In fact, don't read on.

Still with me?

Yeah, TJam had a feel at my chest and her finger popped right into a hole in my chest! yuck.
So today, it was down to the vet where I lay down nicely on the floor to show him my wound. I got up to lick him, and he hoiked me onto the table and wrestled me flat! What was going on?! The receptionist held my legs, TJam held my head and I huffed and puffed but I knew when I was beaten. I zoned well out of there. The vet flushed and stapled my wound. 5 Staples and he ran out half way through and had to go for more :(

I zoned back in when I got off the table and was WELL pleased to get out of there.

I am not allowed to do any more than "potter" for 10 days. No walks :(
Plus I have The Lampshade. (Actually I quite like The Lampshade)


It is very peaceful here inside my lampshade. See you when I get out...

Party

What's this? We can't get in our travel cage? Balloons?

It can only mean one thing. TJam's nan's birthday party. TJam's mum was going mad trying to think of a decent cake decoration. Then, at the 11th hour, she had inspiration and look what she pulled out of the bag. She actually MADE this. Everyone was impressed. (I did not lick this one...)

Once the balloons were delivered, TJam came back to pick me and Beanz up and we went to the party. We were not allowed in the food tent.

But we did have an ally in crime. Cousin Xaja ate a few cherries and came and stroked us. He tasted lovely.

Reinstated

Homemade 70s style trifle ............................................£5

Carboard box for transporting trifle to
nan's 90th birthday party............................................. £ free from supermarket

Lifting cover, licking trifle and
regaining Champion's title for eating things................ priceless




(PS don't tell the guests. I was caught in time, My lick was removed and angel delight smoothed over, bowl wiped etc etc)

Competition

- by Chips

It seems my campaign for the Eating Things Champion title is not as clear cut as I first thought. Cousin Xaja is pictured here in his bid entitled "I ate the mouldy pitta bread for the birds off the lawn because mummy didn't hurry up with my porridge."

I'm going to have to put my thinking cap on to top that...

Stress reliever

If your owner is stressed because she is running behind for 3 consecutive appointments, relieve your own 2nd hand stress by rolling in a big pile of fox poo. Humans love it and there is plenty of time for a bath. Wait! No don't throw me in the pond! Cruelty alert!

Home Alone 2

Trust Beanz to publish a really boring video of me doing a little bit of counter-surfing.

I am much prouder of my achievement in this film. More ingenuity and dare devilling. I did not use a stunt double. It made my carrot all the more delicious.



Yum yum

Home Alone 1

I don't want to be a tell tale, but you know, when TJam goes out, Chips does not lay quietly on her bed. I want you all to know what I have to put up with.

Love from Beanz the Long Suffering

More sun

It's so good here I need to blog again. IMMEDIATELY! I am cooling my toes

before I run onto the beach where Chips is scavenging.

Like some wild stray beast. Which she is at heart.
There she is, a tiny little speck. I am the slightly bigger speck to the right, running towards her.

At last

We are only wet from the toes to the level of our choice. Dry tops rule!

Rain

Did I mention it has not stopped raining for like 2 days. I mean, I like a bit of water as much as the next dog, and it sure is making the grass grow, but I won't complain when the time comes that I don't have to get towelled off after every sorti. At this rate we'll turn into ducks.

Jessie's Tips

This morning I am mostly playing in the long grass.
Don't worry if you don't get the Fast Show reference.
From Beanz, quite literally in the field

Bready hill walking and bikes

Everything is very beautiful at the moment. Even more beautiful when people drop their picnic food and other unmentionable disgusting stuff. Beanz and I love it but TJam goes hopping mad when she sees it. We are so luck to live near walks like this.

At the weekend, we met up with Bready. We hadn't seen her for a while and she brough TJam some date slices. We did not get any.

We went out for a drive and climbed up a big hill. I never thought it would be possible in England, but we couldn't go to the top of the hill because it was actually too hot and we needed to stay near shade. Here is Bready half way up.

We made it to the pigeon tower on the first ledge.

TJam and Beanz had a little rest. They said they were posing for photos, but you don't need to lie on the ground to pose for a photo.

On Saturday, TJam needed to go and feed Silky's cats, but there was a big cycle race going on, so she had to cycle herself because a) she should cycle, not drive places and b) she couldn't get the car out of the drive because of the 5 deep river of cyclists. She cycled down the hill, against the flow and fed the cats.

She felt like a bit of a fraud coming back because she had to go with the official cyclists. She overtook a few, and even though she was only doing 2 miles and they were doing 55, it still felt good. It was also cool that the road was dominated by bikes, not cars. The motorists didn't see it like that. She could tell from the revving and gesticulation, but there are always at least 2 sides to everything. And TJam liked her side.

And a cat closer to home spent the day in the garden, with her black and white complemented by the flowers that have amazingly managed to grow.

Berries and Walks

There wasn't much time for reporting last week. Chips has spent most of her time nipping out to see if the raspberries are ready. She got lucky a few time. There are no ripe ones below her head height.

If it wasn't raspberries, it was windberries. Or wimberries. Not sure what they are called but they are delicious and just the right height for us to eat.

My week didn't start off to well. I cut my foot and had a bit of a fit. I am fighting fit now though. In the good sense of the word.

By Wednesday, I was grand and we met our friend Nursie. We stayed out til 10pm walking. The humans were chatting and chatting and we chased squirrels and sniffed about. It was fab.

Then on Saturday, we went to the cafe and Chips sneaked up onto the bench to show Nerospal some proper happy birthday appreciation. That dog uses a cute face to get away with murder.

Pythagorus Theorum

I think that's what it is called.

Anyway, apparently, humans have to learn geometry in school. They tend to moan about it and go, "I'll NEVER need to use this!". They sigh a lot and use their rulers to flick small bits of paper across the classroom. They try to get away with drawing a straight line without using a ruler, and see if the teacher will notice.

Well, today, TJam did use a-squared + b-squared = c-squared. She actually did!! to work out the height of her porch roof! She was tempted to write a little note to the application man saying, "this is approximate because I used a-squared + b-squared = c-squared to work it out and the added it to the height of the wall, and I had to kind of dangle the tape measure to estimated the length of the roofy bit. But all in all aren't you thoroughly impressed, I just did geometry. In real life. I should not need planning permission on that fact alone." But she didn't. She just put 2.8m and acted like it wasn't a guestimate at all.

Lunch Time Capers

-by Carlsberg the Hungry

When TJam called home for lunch today, she was rightly suspicious of this tail wagging dog that did not venture out of her box to run to the lunch bucket. It could only mean one thing...

Yes, that in the kitchen, there awaited a chilling (but not that uncommon) sight, of a half eaten bag of animal food on the floor. Problem is, it was MY FOOD!

Beanz had been loyal to her feline friend, and judging by the size of her belly, had not eaten much, if any. Chips's belly region and general posture of malaise told a different story of her part in the caper...

Not one to bear a grudge, I calmed myself from the thought of dogs stealing and eating MY FOOD with a little yoga posture I invented myself. I call it reclined triangle with dog and cat. It promotes harmony. And good digestion.